“Anyway, he seemed like hecould use the time to cool off, and since I have to consider him a suspect…”
“Really?” I asked,surprised. I hadn’t even thought aboutsuspects. Just that itcould have been anyone with access.
“Of course. No one’s abovesuspicion.”
“Not even me?” I asked.
“Not even you,” Foxconfirmed, arranging my tea bag in a mug and then searching through the kitchendrawers. “Tea strainer?”
“A what, now?”
Fox looked at me as though I’d just asked whoThe Beatles were.
“Right, well… I’ll just… buysome bags later,” he said, plucking another one of the chamomile envelopes fromthe tea caddy. “Herbal tea can’t be that bad.”
I wasn’t game to offeran opinion, but I got the impression that my tea collection was adisappointment.
“You’re not above suspicionbecause for all I know, you’re trying to get out of your contract,” Fox said. “Inwhich case, you should just tell me. I’m more than happy to lie for you. Takethe fall… if you make it worth my while.”
“Really?” I asked, trying tohide the way my voice was threatening to crack again.
“Why not?” He shrugged. “Ilike to think of myself as an honest man, in that I’d never lie to someone whomeant something to me, but I neither know nor care about your record company.You seem like you could use some help. So. Consider my loyalty yours, if youhave anything you want to confess.”
Did he know I was attractedto him? Was this a ploy to get me to tell him the truth?
It didn’t really matterif it was. The truth was that I had no idea what happened.
“No, I… I wish it was thatsimple. I’m not trying to get out of my contract. I’m trying desperately tokeep it. I can’t lose it now.”
Admitting how hard this wason me was making the corners of my eyes sting and my lip tremble, and Fox couldprobably hear it in my voice. The last thing I wanted was to burst into tearsin front of him, but I could feel them stinging at my eyes, and as soon as Iwent to say something else, all that came out was a sob.
I hadn’t cried overthis yet. Over any of it. But now hot tears were welling up in my eyes and Icouldn’t stop them, and Fox was standingright therewatching me soblike a baby. As if I hadn’t embarrassed myself enough around him.
The dam had burst, and allthe fear and anxiety and stress that had been building and building startedspilling out of me, desperate sobs making it hard to breathe. I covered my faceas though that’dmake some kind of difference to the fact that I was crying in front of a totalstranger.
Warm arms wrapping around myshoulders made me jump.
“Shh,” Fox murmured, hiswhite t-shirt blocking the rest of the world out. He tightened his grip, handssplayed over my back, encouraging me to lean against him.
He was warm and solid, andthose were the two things I needed most in life right now. My fingers curledinto the butter-soft leather of his jacket, worn and ancient, and I breathed inthe scent of his aftershave, sweeter than I’d expected, and let myselfcry.
I cried over feeling like mylife was ending, over the worry that I was about to lose everything, over UncleVincent yelling at me, and while I was at it, over the fact that I wasembarrassing myself in front of Fox, again.
He was used to things likethis, wasn’the? Clients bursting into tears in front of him. People didn’t go to privatedetectives until they were upset.
What was normal for him wasmortifying for me.
“Let it all out,” Fox said,his voice vibrating in his chest where my face was pressed against it. “Nothingto be ashamed of. It sounds like you’ve been having a rough time.”
He didn’t know the halfof it, and he was still standing here, comforting me.
No one else had so much asoffered a pat on the shoulder, and Fox was letting me cry my heart out andcling to him.
“I wanted to do this so badI signed the contract without evenreadingit,” I sobbed, remembering myparents beaming at me as Uncle Vincent pointed to the dotted line. Thespecifics hadn’t mattered to me. I got to makemusic, as my job, andI’dtrusted my uncle. What the hell else could I have asked for?
“And it’s hard work but it’sworth it. Please. You have to believe me. I’d do anything to keep this.Anything.”
“Shh,” Fox soothed again,still holding me.
