But Maddi had seemed to bedoing so well. And the other kids, too.
I didn’t want tobelieve anything else.
“Who else was I gonna tellif you pulled me aside in private and let me know that I was in danger?” Iasked. “I’ve been scared and unsure this whole time, and you thought you knewwhat was going on, and you nevertold me.”
I stood, suddenly feelingtrapped in the comfy chair. My stomach clenched, and I wasn’t entirely sureI wasn’t about to throw up.
After the fight with Grayand finding out that Jimmyalsodidn’t feel that justtelling me thingswas a good wayto handle a problem, I couldn’t cope with this.
It was just one more personlying to me. One more person I’d trusted.
“I was trying to protectyou,” Dad said, his voice breaking.
I was hurting him, just likeI’dhurt Gray. ButIwas hurt, too. He’d lied to me in the name ofprotectingme, just likeJimmy had. He’dleft me to fend for myself, like Gray.
For my protection.Protection I hadn’t asked for.
What good was protection,anyway? Right now, it only seemed to make things hurt more, later.
“I’m a grown man,” Igrowled. “And everyone’s treating me like a child! Like my opinion doesn’tmatter, like I’m too fragile to handle reality. I know I look like I’d snap ina stiff breeze, but Iwon’t. And one day you’re going to haveto accept that.”
“Miles,” Dad said softly,but I didn’t want to hear it.
“No. Not now. I need tothink.”
By the time I realized I’d walked away, Iwas already standing in front of the elevator.
Tears threatened tooverwhelm me, but I couldn’t afford to cry right now. I didn’t have anyone tocryto.
Which was, as usual, all myown fault. I’ddriven everyone away.
And they’d all be betteroff without me.
***
My stomach sank as I steppedout of the elevator in the parking lot and saw who was standing beside my car.
John.
He was the last person onEarth I wanted to deal with right now, but there he was, leaning against thetrunk with his arms folded like he had every right to be there.
Bile rose in my throat allover again. Today was a nightmare that just wouldn’t end, and I was tired, andheartsick, and all I wanted was to crawl into bed for a week and pretend noneof it had happened.
“Heard you had a fight withyour dad,” he said as I approached.
That was it. I felt a damburst inside me before I even opened my mouth to speak, and no matter how muchmy brain screamed at me to keep my goddamn mouth shut, it was too late.
I needed someone to layinto, someone I didn’t care about, and John had just volunteered.
Since he was also the sourceof my problems, I didn’t exactly feel like I had to go easy on him.
“Howdareyou stand thereand smile at me like we’re friends,” I said, finally letting myself feel allthe anger that had been simmering away beneath the surface.
John’s face fell, and a viciousthrill of satisfaction tingled down my spine. Yes. Good. I wanted him to feeljust a fraction of the pain I’d felt today, to experience at leastsomeconsequences forhis actions.
“Miles,” he began, and thegrowl that escaped me—and silenced him—was a surprise to both of us. I saw hiseyes widen, and all it did was spur me on.
This was, finally, the rightperson to be mad at.
