“Yeah.” Jimmy offered me awry smile without any warmth in it, which was about as good as I thought Icould expect. “That’s the thing. Theyaregetting better,for what it’sworth. I checked into that, too.”
“All without telling me.”
Anger over being kept in thedark curled around my heart again, squeezing tight.
“I can’t handle this rightnow,” I added after a moment, when neither Gray nor Jimmy jumped in to defendthemselves. Once I’d gathered a little more willpower, I met Gray’s eyes. “Iwant him out of my sight.”
To my relief, Gray nodded,grabbed Jimmy by the elbow, and led him out of the office, giving him a littleshove through the door. The impression that he would have liked to shove harderhung in the air, Gray tense and stony-faced.
The click of the latch meantwe were alone.
I’d almost forgotten why I’dbeen angry this morning, too, since my day had gone from bad to worse—in fact,worsedidn’t quite coverthe enormity of the disaster getting out of bed had proved to be. Waking up hadbeen a mistake.
Not just getting in the carand driving off into the sunset had been a mistake.
“We need to talk,” Graysaid, approaching the desk again. He still didn’t sit, tension rolling off himin waves so strong that it was makingmetense.
Of course, I had otherreasons to be tense. My whole life had gone to shit in the space of a fewweeks, and there was somuchhappening all at once, and I was still justas scared and upset as I had been last night, and this morning when Gray wasnowhere to be found, except now I had even bigger, more complicated reasons tofeel that way.
I needed a hug, and I neededto cry, and I needed to punch something. Gray probably would have let me do allthree, but…
“I woke up alone thismorning.”
I had so many thoughts atonce that picking justoneto blurt out was a challenge, but my brainlatched onto the first dumbass insecurity that’d flitted by.
Nowonderno onewanted to be with me for very long.
“Why didn’t youtellme you weregoing? Why not tell me about the note?” I asked before Gray could get a word in,panic starting to close my throat up.
I’d been ready for oneconversation, and this was a completely different one.
Jimmy and I may not havebeen the best of friends, but… I’d always thought he was harmless.
Hearing that maybe he wasn’t was a shock.He’d been working here for years. Three floors below where I was sitting.
“I didn’t want you to haveto go through any more crap,” Gray said softly. “I was protecting you.”
Right.
That was hisjob.
So why did I feel sobetrayed? Why did the pit of my stomach hurt so much?
“You left me,” I said, sosoftly I wasn’t even sure Gray heard it until I met his eyes again. Judging bythe look in them, he heard all right.
“Youleftme,” I repeated,louder this time. “To go and chase after someone youdidn’tknow, who mighthave been dangerous, who might have been… anyone. And I woke up allalone after calling you because I was scared.”
Wasn’t I more important thanJimmy?
Gray had left me to fend formyself so he could run off after the bad guy and be the big hero. That wasn’t what I wantedat all. He was supposed to be my bodyguard.
Mine.
The thought hit me like aslap to the face, hard enough to make the faintest threat of tears prick at thecorners of my eyes.
It was a stupid thought. I’d known from themoment I met him that I couldn’t keep Gray, and absolutely nothing had changed.
Except that I was moredevastated by the reminder than I had been before. Which was my own stupidfault.
