“Little after ten,” heresponded, which meant the last hour had passed me by without my notice. “Notall that late, but I need to be up early for a conference call. I hate tointerrupt your date, I can get a cab.”
“No!” I said, still notwanting him to realize exactly what he’d interrupted. “It’s fine, it’s no bigdeal. Give me two minutes and I’ll meet you out front?”
Dad nodded. “Take five, I’vegotta thank your cousin for a lovely evening,” he said, beaming broadly.
“Five,” I agreed, gentlyclosing the door as he walked away.
My stomach knotted up asGray rose from behind the couch.
I wasn’t taking himhome now, was I?
Of course I wasn’t. I’d sabotagedmyself. Dad had offered to take a cab, and it wasn’t as if he couldn’t affordit or anything.
Everything was moving toofast, and I was scared, and as always, that meant running away. Gray couldn’t hurt me if Inever let him get close enough to.
“It’s okay,” Gray saidbefore I could form the apology desperately trying to claw its way out of mythroat. “I’lltake a cab. Noproblem.”
I wanted to say that Graycould come out and meet him, that I was ready to confess that oops, I kind ofhad a crush on my bodyguard, but…
That would have been a lie.Not the crush part, but thereadypart. Confessing tomyselfthatI wanted more from Gray was hard enough.
We should never have donethis. It was my fault, and I didn’t know what to do about it now.
As always, Gray was being athousand times kinder than I deserved.
“It’s okay,” he repeatedwhen I didn’t respond. “I’m not mad.”
The knot in my stomach onlytightened. Iwasafraid he’d be mad, but I was more afraid he’d bedisappointed.
And everything about himscreamed disappointment. I’d let him down.
I wasn’t the man he thoughtI was, and it was showing.
“I need to go clean up,” Isaid, wanting to be as far away from Gray for the next three minutes or so aspossible. Facing him in the wake of being so weak and useless and making himhide behind thecouchwas too hard.
“Sure.” Gray nodded. “I’llkeep a discreet distance until you’re safely in the car. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, headingfor the door. I didn’t have the heart to tell him to go, even if that was whatI wanted.
Not because Gray had upsetme, but because I knew I was hurting him right now and he deserved so muchbetter. So much better than some asshole spoiled rich kid who wouldn’t even own up tohim after dragging him out here in the first place.
I hurried to the bathroom,aware of the irony that I always ended up hiding in there no matterwhatI did with the rest of my night, and cleaned up as well as I could.
This should have beenexciting, sneaking off for sex with my gorgeous, kind,fundate, andthen getting a little busted, but then shyly introducing him to my dad.
Except I couldn’t do that lastpart. Gray wasn’t mine to keep, and he never would be. Letting myself pretendotherwise had been stupid.
As I left and found Dad, Ifelt as though I was being watched. Gray hadsaidhe would, obviously,and if the feeling was anything other than in my head, it had to be that.
I wished it was comforting,but it just made me feel all the worse for leaving him like this.
He deserved better than me.
***
“You could have introducedme to your date,” Dad said as we pulled away from Emily’s house, leaving Graybehind.
I shouldn’t have left him,but how the hell could I have explained him to my dad?This is mybodyguard, who I was also getting a great handjob from just now.
