I was being needy, and nowGray would leave. That was how it worked. I’d asked for too much aftereverything he’d given me.
Why couldn’t Ieverbe happy withtaking what I was given?
Laughter bubbled up, anervous giggle escaping before I had time to stop it. I cleared my throat,hoping to cover it, but Gray was already looking at me like I’d lost it.
Maybe he thought the shockwas finally getting to me.
“I’m so sorry,” I finallymanaged to say. “That was… unprofessional. Inappropriate. I just—”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted.Which was just as well, because I had no idea how I was planning on finishingthat sentence. “It’s okay.”
“You should go,” I said, mymouth getting away from me. Ultimately, my mouth was right—if he left, then Icouldn’t do anythingelsestupid, and I already felt like I was skatingon thin ice.
Not that I’d ever actuallybeen ice skating.
Something about the way Graywas looking at me changed, but it happened too fast for me to really read whatit was. In the next heartbeat, he was back to looking neutrally professional.
“You sure you’ll be okay onyour own? I can stick around.”
The offer was tempting.Sotempting.
But I couldn’t take it up. Icouldn’t risk asking for too much and losing what I had, and I was starting torealize that until whatever the hell was going on in my life blew over, Ineeded him.
He was the only person whocould make me feel safe.
“I’ll be okay. I think Ijust… need a nap.”
As long as Gray didn’t offer to napwithme, I’d be fine. Icould do this.
“Okay then,” he said, takingone last look around the apartment. “Well, you’ve got my number.”
I nodded. “Sure, yeah. I’lltext if I need you.”
“Take care of yourself,”Gray said. “And remember to eat.”
Another laugh escaped me,still nervous, but at least a little less high-pitched this time. That was asmall mercy.
“I’ll eat something. Even ifit’s a jar of cookie butter. Promise.”
Gray shrugged. “It’s probablygot fat and protein, so I’ll allow it.”
Probably.
Yeah, probably. I wasn’t really thekind of guy who checked the nutritional information. Being sick had gotten meinto the habit of eating what I could stand to, when I could stand to do it.
“Thank you for everything,”I said as Gray backed away a step, heading for the door.
“All in a day’s work,” heresponded. “Text me anytime.”
My stomach twisted as thedoor closed behind him. Part of me wanted to text him immediately, tell him tocome back, beg him for the hug I so desperately needed.
Instead, I headed for thebathroom and started stripping off. I’d feel a thousand times better after ashower and a nap.
And then maybe I couldhandle being alone again.
TWELVE
GRAY
