But the fact that there wereno cameras here was a feature, not a bug. This was the kind of apartmentbuilding that was full of powerful people who’d rather not be watched intheir own home. People for whom the danger came from outside, from the press,from fans, from run-of-the-mill busybodies.
Not the kind of people whohad break-ins. Three in the space of a week.
I’d imagined bringing aboyfriend home here someday and not having to worry about it getting back toanyone. Not that it mattered so much if I was out and proud—this wasSacramento, half the city was queer. But still. I’d been attracted to the ideaof getting to live on my own terms, with no one looking over my shoulder.
And now that need forindependence had come back to bite me in the ass.
I wondered if whoever hadbroken in knew that, or if they’d thought to cover their face. Would they get awaywith this because they were smart, or because of a choice I’d made years ago?
The moment Gray stepped outof the bedroom behind me, I knew he was there. Not because I could feel him oranything, but because of the way Louisa’s face changed.
“Ma’am,” he said, taking astep closer so that Icouldfeel him here.
“This is my personal securityspecialist,” I explained automatically. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her tothink Gray was my boyfriend.
It was more that I didn’t want Gray toknow that I wouldn’t mind people thinking he was my boyfriend. That would onlyhave made things awkward.
“Bodyguard,” Gray corrected,or clarified. Maybe he liked to think of himself as a bodyguard, maybe that wasa term for the specific job he was doing for me.
Up until this week,personalsecurityhad meant smart retirement saving to me. Actually being in dangerwas completely new, and I still wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react to it.Should I have been more worried? Less?
“I’ll let the front deskknow that the police are on their way,” Louisa said. “They are, uh…?”
“I haven’t called them yet,”Gray said. “But I’m planning on it, just as soon as Mr. Emerson has seen fit toput on some pants.”
A tiny smirk turned up onecorner of Louisa’s shiny red lips. If I’d been attracted to women, I thoughtmaybe she was the kind of woman I would have been attracted to.
“I’ll let the front deskknow,” she repeated. “I’m sorry about this, Mr. Emerson. We’ll obviouslycooperate fully with the investigation, and in the meantime, if there’sanything we can do for you—anything at all—don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll get outof your hair.”
“Thank you. Uh. You’re notin my hair, I appreciate you coming to check, but I won’t keep you,” I rambled,cursing myself for letting my anxiety show. “I’ll be okay.”
Louisa nodded. “Anything at all.I’ll be in my office all day, and my door’s always open.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” Graysaid. “I’ll take it from here.”
With a final nod and asubtle once-over of Gray, she left. The door clicking shut made my stomachtwist again, but I couldn’t start freaking out over my own front door.
“That was, uh, LouisaMiller,” I said. “She manages the building.”
“I figured,” Gray responded.“I mean, that she was the manager, not what her name was. I’m not claiming tobe psychic, here.”
“I got that.”
I wasn’t sure if thesituation itself was awkward, or whether I was making it that way.
“I’ll call this in while youget dressed,” Gray offered. “And then I’ll help you put everything back whereit’s meant to go once the cops are done with the place. They’ll wanna take a statement.”
I nodded as the informationGray was trying to impart on me washed into my brain slowly. Focus wasapparently something other people had right now.
Iwantedto be goodin a crisis. I wanted to be cool and calm and competent, like Gray was, and Iwasn’t. Would henotice? Would he judge me for it?
Should I just do what hesaid and worry about how it looked later? After all, hewassupposed tobe here to help. I didn’t worry about what my kitchen looked like when themaid service came by.
… okay, that was an outrightlie. I tried to keep it as clean as I could and marveled over the way theycould make the countertops shine like they were brand new. I didn’t want anyoneto have to deal with my mess.
And I’d hired Gray todo exactly that, but I still didn’t want him seeing it. Even if that was theentire point of having him around.
What I wanted was for him tohold me until I stopped feeling like I was shaking all over. What I planned onsettling for was keeping him within earshot.
