20
“I’m so glad you married someone who knows how to cook,” May said, beaming across the table at Oscar.
“Hey!” Oscar objected. “I know how to cook.”
“Honey,” Ryan began. “Sweetheart. Light of my life. Star to whom I’ve hitched my little red wagon… you don’t know how to cook.”
Laughter rippled around the table, close quarters making the whole occasion feel so much more like home. Even Ezra managed a tiny smile, despite the fact that he was currently about as miserable as he ever had been.
He’d get over it. Being among family made it easier.
“I helped,” Oscar said.
“We all helped,” Finn pointed out. “That’s the whole… point of these. None of us could put together Christmas dinner on our own. None of us could run the sanctuary on our own. We’re a team.”
Ezra curled his hands around his mug of mulled wine—May’s experiment for the year, and actually pretty good—enjoying the warmth seeping into his palms. Oscar’s shoulder was brushing against his, and he was glad Nolan was sitting on his other side. They hadn’t had the opportunity to get as close as everyone else was with each other, but Ezralikedhim.
He also liked not having to feel vulnerable.
“You’re so lucky I love you,” Oscar eventually said to Ryan, letting his head fall against his shoulder.
“So,” Finn spoke up again. “Are we gonna talk about what’s eating Ezra, or…?”
Ezra swallowed. On the one hand, he really didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to pretend none of it had happened, bury the whole thing in the back of his mind, and be happy again.
On the other hand… this was his family. If he couldn’t talk to them, whocouldhe talk to?
“We can kinda tell you’re moping,” Oscar said. “Because normally you’d be late for dinner because you were busy at the homeless shelter with your mom, so if you’re not in the mood to see all those happy, smiling people… gotta be something wrong.”
Oscar gave him a meaningful glance, one that told Ezra he understood what was going on. He clearlyhadn’ttold anyone else, though Ezra wouldn’t really have been mad if everyone in the room knew.
All of them were family, and it was okay iffamilyknew his secrets.
Maybe sharing them would help.
“I’ve been having a… thing… with Mike for the last two weeks,” Ezra said. “It started with him wanting to pretend he was dating me so he didn’t have to feel awkward around Rachel, which I’m sure you all noticed.”
There was a general round of nodding at the table, everyone listening intently to Ezra’s story.
“Anyway… it kind of… became a real thing.”
“And you’ve been in love with Mike since the day you met him,” May said knowingly.
Ezra went to protest that it wasn’t since theday he met him, but… maybe it had been. He remembered being like an excited puppy when they’d first been introduced. Desperately wanting to get to know him.
So yeah.
Could have been since the day they met.
“Anyway, I knew he wasn’t sure about coming out in front of his parents, and that’s fine, I’d never force anyone out of the closet. But last night…”
Ezra’s throat tightened as he realized he was actually going to have to tell the story. It was still so fresh, a raw wound that stung when he poked at it.
But he needed this. If it was ever going to heal, heneededthis.
“Last night we were out looking at the lights—just on a street near my house where people have been one-upping each other for years. It seemed like a nice thing. And Mike held my hand, which was so goddamn brave of him that I thought my heart was gonna explode.”
Ezra paused to sip his wine, waiting for the painful clench of his chest to subside. Mikehadbeen brave. Everything had been going so well.
