7
“I’mreallysorry about this,” Mike said, and he knew it was the hundredth time, and that Ezra was probably sick of hearing it, but that hadn’t stopped him the first ninety-nine times, either.
He felt awful about dragging Ezra into his own insecurity over Rachel having moved on. This wasn’t what Ezra had agreed to, and Mike knew he’d put him in an awkward position.
“Please stop apologizing,” Ezra said. “Please. Consider yourself completely forgiven.”
Mike looked down at the fold-out table they’d claimed for themselves. The way Oscar and the rest of them had managed to transform the cleared-out shed into a cozy, festive, celebration-worthy space was incredible. Mike remembered this shed as being full of spiders and other assorted wildlife that wasn’t actually meant to be there, and now it had been completely transformed.
Softly-twinkling Christmas lights filled the space, giving it a strange, otherworldly quality. Fake mistletoe hung from the rafters—it was hard to miss now that they’d had a run-in with it—and there was fake holly hanging on the walls, but none of itlookedfake. It all looked magical.
He’d glanced over at Oscar and Ryan a few times and found them holding hands and grinning at each other, even sharing a soft kiss once. They looked so damnedhappythat it made Mike’s heart hurt.
He was thrilled for them, honestly.
But he was also incredibly aware of how lonely he was himself. How much he was dreading going home after the holiday season. Even having his parents for company was better than an empty apartment and a series of dead houseplants.
“I just didn’t mean to drag you into this,” Mike said, reaching out to play with the decorative pine cone in the middle of the table.
“I know,” Ezra said. “Iknow. But it really is okay. I’m not mad. Stop apologizing.”
Mike sighed, turning the pinecone over in his hands. He was going to be covered in glitter for days at the rate it was coming off, but he neededsomethingto keep himself occupied. The knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach wasn’t easing up despite Ezra’s insistence that this was fine.
Which meant that he was worried about somethingelse, but he had no idea what.
“Look at those two,” Ezra said.
Mike looked up, expecting to see him looking at Oscar and Ryan being cute again. Instead, though, he was looking at what passed for the dance floor. Specifically, at Rachel and Rick.
None of which helped the knot in Mike’s stomach, either.
“Are we sure they’re fucking?” Ezra asked. “Because they look so uncomfortable with each other.”
A tiny smile made Mike’s lip twitch. Ezra was trying to make him feel better.
“They don’t even look like they’re enjoying being with each other,” Ezra continued. “There’s six inches of space between them. That’s not how you dance with someone you’re planning on dragging to bed later.”
Even though he was trying not to look directly at them in case he got caught, Mike could see out of the corner of his eye that there was at leastsometruth to what Ezra was saying.
“Theyarein public,” he said, though he wasn’t sure why he felt the need to defend Rachel’s new relationship.
Probably because some part of him wanted her to be happy. He’d loved her once, or at least he’d been pretty sure he had. They’d definitely beenfriends, even if nothing else.
Rachel had been desperately unhappy for a long time. Mike wanted to believe that she’d finally found someone who made her feel good.
Because ifshehad, then maybe he could, too.
“Yeah, but… this isn’t something I can just explain,” Ezra said. “Take my word for it, their sex life involves getting under the covers, turning off the lights, and having three minutes of missionary-position sex where she only comes maybe one time in five. Guaranteed.”
Mike snorted. “You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”
“I’m stating a fact,” Ezra said. “Literally zero chemistry. You’ve got more with that pine cone.”
“Itisa sexy pine cone,” Mike smiled wryly. “All shiny and seductive, covered in glitter. Also, I kinda want to bite it? Is that weird?”
“Objectively, extremely weird,” Ezra said. “But I get it? It looks like candy, I guess.”
“Yeah, that’s my excuse, too.” Mike set the pine cone back down in the center of the table, where it belonged. “This is why we’re friends.”
