28
The ping of the elevator stopping at the floor Gavin’s office was on made Nolan jump, his half-prepared speech tumbling out of his mind as the doors opened.
He knew what he had to do. What had been coming foryears, what Finn had tried to tell him was the right thing, what he should have done a long time ago.
Finn had only ever hadNolan’sbest interests at heart. He’d found Finn’s shirt under his bed last night and burst into tears, wracked with guilt over having hurt Finn the way he knew he had, over the memory of how Finn had been looking after him even then, even when all this was new. Every time he looked back at everything they’d had, that was all he saw.
A sweet, kind man who’d taken care of him likehewas an otter trapped in a fishing net.
Gavin was the fishing net. Gavin was tangled around him, squeezing the life out of him and threatening to pull him under.
Finn had just wanted to cut him free. He wouldneverhave let Gavin buy him, not for anything, not after the first time.
Nolan owed him an apology.
He knocked on the door to Gavin’s office, harder than he meant to, determination setting his shoulders square. Nolan rarely stood up straight, and he wasn’t all that tall even when he did, but he planned to today.
He’dalwaysbent for Gavin. He wouldn’t do that anymore.
“Come in,” Gavin called through the door.
Nolan slipped inside, his stomach tangled up in knots. Blood pounded in his ears, the thought of what he was about to do making his head spin.
But it was the right thing.
He just wished he knew for sure that Finn was waiting on the other side of it. This wasn’tfor Finn, not really—it was for Nolan, first and foremost.
Finn would have been proud of him, though.
If he’d been smarter about this, or braver, he could have been sure that Finn was waiting outside in his car, ready to give Nolan a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay.
Now he’d have to go it alone.
But hewould, because Gavin had taken the last thing from him. The thing he’d wanted most in the world.
“Nolan,” Gavin beamed up at him from behind his desk. The birthday card Nolan had left him was at his elbow, positioned so everyone could see it, the bright HAPPY BIRTHDAY on the front in full view. “What can I do for my favorite cousin?”
For the briefest moment, Nolan hesitated.Wasthis the right thing? They’d had good times, maybe…
No. No, that was what Gavinwantedhim to think. He was always just nice enough to keep Nolan coming back. To stop him from leaving.
Nolan fidgeted with the plain, unassuming envelope he was holding. “You can accept my resignation,” Nolan said, tossing it onto Gavin’s desk.
His stomach felt like it’d fallen to somewhere around his knees.
It’d taken him all weekend to find the words, but he had them now. Not the ones he reallywantedto say, but the ones he needed. The ones that would get him out of this situation once and for all.
“I’ll double it,” Gavin said without even glancing at the envelope.
“What?” Nolan frowned. Doublewhat?
“Whatever they’re offering you,” Gavin said. “To leave here. I’ll double it.”
“No one’s… I…” Nolan paused, letting the weight of Gavin’s offer wash over him.Doublewhatever unknown offer he’d been made, just like that?
“Jesus, you really do think you can just throw money at any problem, don’t you?”
Gavin sat back, looking Nolan up and down. “This isn’t a play for a pay rise?”
