They both had.
But he still had to know that Nolan believed it’d been real. Hell, he needed to know that Nolanwantedit to be real.
Nolan had said half a dozen times that he couldn’t see why Finn was into him, but Finn could have said the same thing. Nolan was cute, funny, successful in the traditional sense, eager to experiment in bed… Finn was just some guy who looked okay without a shirt on and loved dogs.
Well, squirrels. The otter was growing on him, too, and releasing Ollie in the next few days was gonna hurt like hell.
Maybe he’d get Oscar or Ezra to do it. They’d probably be happy to save Finn the pain.
As if summoned by thinking of him, a bleary-eyed Oscar stumbled into the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge before pausing and noticing the carton of juice on the table.
“Oh,” he said, grabbing a glass and then sitting down heavily.
“Dude, it’s nearlynoon,” Finn said, staring at him.
Oscar shrugged, poured himself a glass of juice, and then drained it in three huge gulps before putting the glass down with a sigh. He licked his lips, looking between Ezra and Finn with a confused frown.
“I could’ve sworn today was Sunday,” he said.
“It is,” Ezra agreed. “I’m here to settle in a hummingbird that somehow got caught in a mailbox, Finn’s here because he’s sad about Nolan.”
“I’m here for a neutering,” Finn corrected.
“And because you’re sad about Nolan,” Oscar said. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to be sad and you’re always welcome here when you are. We love you.”
Finn sighed, playing with his empty glass while Oscar poured more juice into his own. “I know. I just… wanna forget about it, if he’s not interested in fixing things.”
“Hedidapologize,” Ezra pointed out.
“Toyou. I don’t feel like I’m asking much to say it needs to come directly from him. Am I?” Finn asked, suddenly unsure if he was being unreasonable.
It didn’t seem like much to expect, but his standards were about as warped as they came. All he’d wanted was for someone not to look at him and think he was wasting his life.
Nolan hadn’t. That part, Finn was sure of. Nolan had been supportive of what he did. He’djoined in.
No one else had ever done that for Finn. That was what made Nolan special.
That was what made losing him hurt so much. He could have been it. The person Finn had been looking for all this time.
“You’re not asking too much,” Oscar confirmed.
“You’re not,” Ezra agreed. “I’m just saying… maybe cut him a little slack when youdoget an apology. Hewantsto tell you he’s sorry, he’s just… scared.”
“I’m not that scary,” Finn pointed out.
“No, but the thought of losing you would be,” Oscar said. “If we had the kind of fight that ended in you walking away, I’d be scared.”
“You’d run after me and ask me where the hell I thought I was going.” Finn smiled wryly.
“Because I’m sure you love me and that it’s not the end of our friendship, it’s just a minor blip. I can’t think of anything you could do that’d make it so I never wanted to see you again. Nolan’s not so sure.”
“I know. Dammit, Iknow,” Finn said, frustrated by the whole situation. “That’s what this wasabout.”
He wanted to text Nolan to say he was forgiven and they could get together and talk, but that set a precedent for letting himself be walked all over.
Not that he thought Nolanwould, but the worry still made him shy away from it.
Nolan would have to make the next move. It was his turn. If Finn jumped in, he’d never be confident about their relationship again.
