It was still an awful thing he’d done, but on Monday morning, Nolan would go into work, as usual, at the company Gavin owned. Assuming it’d been done with good intentions was the only way he could do that.
Hell, maybe Gavin had been trying for a lot longer than Nolan thought. Maybe he really had thought this was helping.
“I was thinking, we don’t spend enough time together anymore,” Gavin said. “We oughta hang out sometime, just the two of us.”
Nolan looked at him, confused, but then he’djustbeen thinking that Gavin was trying, hadn’t he? Birthdays always made Nolan think about the things he wanted to change in his life, too. Maybe Gavin was finally growing up.
Not in quite the way Nolan would have liked, but…
If he was about to lose Finn, and he couldn’t help feeling hewas, then he needed to stick with what he had. Didn’t he?
“Sure,” Nolan responded, not as enthusiastically as Gavin might have liked. His head was still spinning from what Gavin had told him, his gut tight.
Finn couldn’t have been faking the whole time. He was too good for that.
Wasn’t he?
“I guess we can put off introducing you to some nice eligible bachelors until next time,” Gavin said, still perfectly sincere.
Of course, he could fake sincerity. Nolan had seen him do it a thousand times. It was how he got himself out of trouble.
But Nolanhadto believe it, because everything he’d believed about not needing Gavin over the last few weeks, all the confidence he’d gained… it was a lie.
It had to be. Nothing abouthimhad changed, so why should Finn be interested?
Hedidneed Gavin. He’d probably always need Gavin.
Hell, he couldn’t even get laid without Gavin’s help. That thought made him feel sick all over again, the memory of being so happy just this morning playing over and over in his head.
It’d felt soreal.
It had to be real.
Ithadto be.
Nolan bit his lip. He’d have to ask. He couldn’t go on not knowing, not now that the thought had been put into his head.
“Let’s get you a drink,” Gavin offered. “You look like you could use it.”
“I’m driving.” Nolan sighed. He didn’t drink often, but he was starting to see why Gavin did. Heartbreakhurt, and Nolan was still clinging onto hope. How bad would he feel if that hope turned out to be false, after all?
“Cake, then. Chocolate. Chocolate makes everything better.”
After a moment’s consideration, Nolan nodded and followed Gavin deeper into the house, figuring cake at least couldn’thurt. If he had something in his mouth, he was way less likely to end up crying in public.
He’d just talk to Finn about this. Finn would put his mind at ease. This was all a big misunderstanding.
No matter how much Nolan told himself that, the knot in his stomach wouldn’t quite go away.
