20
Nolan turned the pocket knife Finn had given him over in his hand, letting the weight of it roll back and forth in his palm. He’d been playing with it all morning, and he wasn’t sure whether or not he should actually be carrying a pocket knife around with him, but…
Finn had given it to him.
Finn, who wanted to be hisboyfriend, had given it to him.
A knock on his office door startled him out of his thoughts. He didn’t even have time to saycome inbefore it opened and Rita walked through it, looking at him carefully.
She smirked when she was done. “Gavin’s right. Youdohave that look about you.”
“What look?” Nolan asked, still holding his pocket knife.
“The look that says things are going well with your veterinarian. Finn, right?”
Nolan wet his lips. “Right.”
“You taking up knife fighting, or..?” Rita nodded to Nolan’s hand.
“With this?” Nolan held the pocket knife up, raising an eyebrow.
Rita shrugged.
“Finn gave it to me,” Nolan said, holding it out for her to see.
“Kinky.” Rita grinned at him, reaching out to take it. She felt the weight, too, then checked the blade, folded it closed again, swung it around by the keyring attachment, and passed it back.
“It’s for animal rescue stuff. I had to borrow his, he said he’d get me my own. And then he did.”
“Well, it’s not a diamond ring or anything, but I guess on a non-profit salary…”
Nolan snorted. “This is way more useful to me. And thoughtful. Ireallylike going there. I mean. I couldn’t do it as a job and I’m not qualified anyway, but… it’s nice. It’s nice to feel like I’m making a difference.”
“You’re making a difference here,” Rita said.
“To Gavin’s already ridiculous bottom line,” Nolan said.
His job hadn’t gotten any magically more satisfying in the six years he’d been doing it. All it’d ever gotten was more stressful and time-consuming. It didn’tmeananything.
“You’re stopping me from strangling him on account of not wanting witnesses,” Rita said. “Practically humanitarian work.”
“Not quite the same.” Nolan sighed, glancing out of his window.
The view was beautiful. The office wasnice. Lots of people his age would have been happy to fight him to the death for this job.
Hell, most of them would havewon.
But it wasn’t the same as what Finn did.
How the hell was hegood enoughfor Finn? He was boring. Boring, and not special, and not even good in bed to make up for it. They’d had fun, and Nolan was sure Finn wasn’t faking it, but he didn’t have a whole lot of experience. He was learning.
Everything was incredible when they were together, but the moment they were apart again, doubts started to creep into Nolan’s mind.
Which was why he was playing with the pocket knife in the first place. A solid reminder that Finn at least wanted him to come back to the sanctuary.
“Y’know, if you’re that miserable here….”
“Suck it up?” Nolan asked, turning his attention back to Rita.
