“I know what you mean,” Nolan interrupted, grinning. If Finn could tease him, he could tease Finn. “Yes and no.”
“Don’t wanna talk about it?” Finn asked, curling his arm around Nolan’s shoulders. To let him know it was okay if he didn’t, Nolan realized.
“Don’t knowhowto talk about it, I think,” Nolan said. “I’m glad I did this with you. I realize that we did stuff before this that was definitely sex and I’ve probably fallen into the heteronormative trap of thinking that only penetrationcounts, but… it’s different, to me at least. But there’s no profound change or anything.”
“Got any more five-dollar words you wanna throw at me while I’m still catching my breath?” Finn asked, laughter in his voice.
It helped that he’d never been all that serious about this. That he’d always viewed sex as a fun thing two people who liked each other could do, but absolutely not a big deal as long as everyone was into it.
Everything had been so goddamneasywith Finn. It was impossible not to imagine a future of things continuing to be nice, and easy, and for Nolan to be genuinely happy for the first time since he realized he was gay and his parents wouldn’t like that.
“I’m glad this was with you,” Nolan repeated, since that was the important part anyway. Any internal struggles about how he—and everyone else—defined sex and virginity could probably remain internal.
“If you wanna talk social philosophy, I’m game,” Finn said, surprising him. “But later, maybe? When I’ve got the brainpower to breathe and think at the same time.”
“I definitely don’t want you to stop breathing,” Nolan murmured. “I’m getting up for a shower in a minute and I need you to scrub my back.”
Finn chuckled. “Anyone’d think I was yourboyfriend, with demands like that.”
Nolan’s heart stopped.
Boyfriend.
Yes, yes, yes.
There was nothing he could think of that he wanted more.
It was just a label, and he knew that, but coming from Finn… it meant the world.
“I mean… if you wanted to be, I’d um… I think… we could—”
“I want to be,” Finn interrupted, raising his head to look at Nolan. “If that’s something you want?”
Nolan nodded, feeling that was safer than trying to get a complete sentence out right now.
“Good,” Finn flopped back, another happy sigh escaping him. “Figured I’d wait untilafteryou were, uh, satisfied with my performance to ask.”
Nolan chuckled. “You picked the right moment. Definitely a world-rocking experience.”
“Glad to hear it,” Finn said, stroking up and down Nolan’s arm. A simple, affectionate gesture that made his heart swell in his chest.
He’d always known Finn would take care of him. In this and, he was beginning to think, in everything else, too.
“In a minute I’ll get up and start the shower for you,” Nolan said. “Gotta take care of my boyfriend.”
“You like that, huh?” Finn asked.
“You have no idea,” Nolan laughed. “Plus, I need you to be in a really good mood for something I have to ask you later.”
“I’m in a great mood now,” Finn sat up, looking down at Nolan. “Ask away.”
Nolan shook his head, forcing himself to sit up as well. He leaned in and pecked Finn on the lips. “You’ll see why I’m leaving it when I ask. It’s nothing horrible, it’s just… this is a nice moment,” he said. “I wanna keep it that way.”
“I’m gonna choose not to freak out about this,” Finn said sagely. “I trust you.”
“Good,” Nolan heaved himself out of the bed, a half-rolling maneuver that could easily have ended in him faceplanting on the floor, but he somehow pulled off anyway. “Shower,” he said. “Be there in two minutes.”
“Two minutes.” Finn nodded, grinning over at Nolan. “I can wait that long.”
Nolan laughed all the way to the bathroom.
