“See the look on his face?” Finn murmured into Nolan’s ear as Gavin glanced over at them and then looked away immediately.
“I’m gonna pay for this on Monday,” Nolan said wryly. “But it’s probably worth it.”
“Don’t let him give you any crap,” Finn said.
“His entire world would collapse if he couldn’t give me crap. It’s enough to stop him just once. And maybe I’ll never have to hear another comment about being a virgin again.”
“You move at your own pace,” Finn said. “When you’re ready, you’re ready. Don’t let anyone rush you.”
“I know,” Nolan said. “I know, I just… feel like I’m falling behind.”
“You were a gifted kid, huh?” Finn asked, already knowing the answer. Nolan hadGifted and Talentedwritten all over him.
“That obvious?” Nolan asked.
“Kinda.” Finn shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing. You’re just too hard on yourself. Sex isn’t an achievement or a milestone or… anything. It’s just sex.”
“It’s fun though, right?” Nolan asked.
“Oh, absolutely. If you’re into it. It’s also okay if you’re not, though.”
“I am,” Nolan said. “I mean… I’m pretty sure I am.”
“Got it,” Finn responded. “Which is fine, too.”
Nolan sighed a huge sigh, but it was hard to tell whether it was from relief or frustration.
What Finncouldtell was that he settled a little more firmly against his chest, and that was… nice.
Really nice.
Nolan fit against his body like he’d been made for him, and Finn hadn’t held anyone like this in a long, long time.
Finn was halfway through opening his mouth to murmurcome home with mein Nolan’s ear before he realized what a terrible idea that was.
The impulse faded as quickly as it’d welled up, but there was no denying it’d been there. That for a moment at least, Finn hadwantedto take Nolan home with him, and hold him a little longer, and show him all the things he felt like he’d been missing out on.
For the first time in a long time, Finn didn’t feel quite so lonely. Not with Nolan around.
He wanted to hang onto that feeling. He wantedmoreof it.
Which wasn’t a good enough reason to proposition the guy out of the blue. His loneliness wasn’t Nolan’s problem.
And if he asked now, it’d look like he wanted the favor returned. The last thing he wanted to do was risk making Nolan feel pressured. He didn’t want to do that to anyone, ever, but this would have been Nolan’s first time.
It should have been with someone he trusted. Someone he’d known long enoughtotrust.
Unlike Finn’s, which had been with a total stranger he’d never seen again. Not that he’d felt forced—maybe alittlepressured by his friends to get it over with—but it just hadn’t been the most positive possible experience.
Knowing now that it could bewaybetter with the right person, he wanted that for Nolan.
And he was pretty sure that he wasn’t the right person. He would have been gentle and patient, but that didn’t mean Nolan wanted him. Andwantwas important. Nolan was already talking like he’d jump at the first chance he got, and Finn didn’t want to be Mr. Right Now.
It was a stupid impulse, and he was glad he’d caught it before he actually said anything.
“Gavin’s seen us now,” Nolan said. “We can disappear whenever you want.”
“I’m okay for a while longer,” Finn responded, not eager to give up sitting peacefully with Nolan just yet.
In the depths of his chest, he could feel the first curling tendrils of his tiny crush starting to wrap around his heart. Which was bad.
But it’d been a long time since he’d had one, so he wasn’t inclined to fight it. Crushes were nice. It’d give him something todo,at least, even if that thing was to think about how nice Nolan’s smiles were and how easy it would have been to promise him anything when he looked up with those big, sad eyes.
“I don’t mind using you as a pillow,” Nolan said, letting his head fall back against Finn’s shoulder.
Which Finnloved, and couldn’t stop himself grinning at.
He was so screwed.
