25
“Sad to see you go,” Finn said, leaning against the side of Ryan’s car while he took his time loading the two suitcases he’d come here with into the trunk.
Ryan had no idea what to say to that, so he said nothing.
“I know we didn’t get a lot of time to hang out together, but I’ll miss you,” Finn continued, apparently happy to hold up both ends of the conversation by himself. “You’re family, y’know?”
A sigh escaped Ryan without him really meaning it to.
“I was always just passing through,” he said, since he’d been telling himself that for the last two days. He’d had enough practice that it almost sounded convincing.
“So was I when I came here. Just doing a little community service post-degree. Thought I’d give back, y’know. And then one day a week turned into two, and two turned into every weekend and some Fridays, and then… I just stayed. It gets into your bones.”
Ryan swallowed.
He’d realized this place was starting to feel like home when the smell changed. He couldn’t smell the swamp anymore. Just the fresh air, and the dirt, and the scent of baking in the kitchen or coffee brewing on the counter.
But it was Oscar’s homefirst, and Ryan wouldn’t take that away from him. Things would only be uncomfortable between them if he stayed, and he couldn’t do that to Oscar. Not after everything Oscar had done for him.
He wished things had ended better, if they had to end. He wished they didn’t have to end atall.
Since they had, though, Ryan wasn’t inclined to make it painful. He’d just been through that himself. Oscar didn’t deserve it.
“Yeah, well…” Ryan sighed. “Listen, thanks for seeing me off. It means a lot.”
Some part of him had expected—hoped—that Oscar would come out to say goodbye. It would have been nice to have a little closure.
He still appreciated Finn filling in for him. It was nice to think that maybe hewouldbe missed, after all.
No one had even noticed when he left his old job to come here. This place was different.
“Hey, like I said, you’re family as far as I’m concerned,” Finn said, stepping back to let Ryan close the trunk.
The hollow thud made him feel like he was closing a door on something. Something that could have been great.
Leaving this place made his stomach hurt, and the same helplessness he’d felt the last time he’d walked out of his and Laura’s apartment washed over him as he took his keys out of his pocket.
“Thanks, man,” Ryan responded distractedly, glancing over at the house.
No Oscar.
He swallowed, looking down at his hand as he jingled his keys in it.
Just the two. One to his car, one to the front door of this place, which was never locked anyway. He paused for a moment, then twisted it off the ring, handing it over to Finn. “Give this back to May for me, yeah? And tell her… tell her thank you. For everything.”
“And Oscar?” Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.
Ryan looked down at his feet. “Tell Oscar… tell him thank you, too. He gave me a lot while I was here. I won’t ever forget.”
“I’ll tell him,” Finn said. “But are you sure you don’t wanna tell him yourself?”
Ryan turned to look at the house again.
Still no Oscar.
“He doesn’t want me to tell him myself,” Ryan said, his stomach cramping at the thought. He’d screwed this up, and Oscar had every right to be angry with him. And now hewasleaving, which he knew was for the best, but…
In his heart, he wanted to stay. The thing was… it was pretty obvious that Oscar didn’t want that. He could have asked any time. He was the one who’d told Ryan to leave.
