21
“So, you and Oscar, huh?” May asked as she walked into the living room, sitting down next to Ryan on the couch.
Ryan looked up, feeling the blood drain from his face. They hadn’t exactly been discreet, but he hadn’t thought it was a problem, either. It hadn’tcome up. He’d figured it was fine.
“Uh…” He paused to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Yeah? I realize it’s probably a surprise, I should have told you earlier—”
May shushed him gently, reaching out to take Ryan’s hand. The same way Oscar did when he got flustered.
Ryan wondered, briefly, if that was a gesture Oscar had learned from her. Or if maybe it was the other way around. He’d realized recently that they were closer than either of them let on, that what he took as distance was actually just silent understanding.
Oscar had been a better nephew to May than Ryan ever had. He would have felt guilty about it except that Oscar was agreatnephew, and she was probably better off with him than Ryan, anyway.
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, honey,” she said. “You seem happy.”
Ryan cleared his throat. “I am,” he admitted. “Oscar’s… Oscar’s been helping me learn a lot about myself.”
“Like that you’re attracted to men,” May said, apparently not about to avoid the subject. “Which is okay, obviously. I wouldn’t have a staff full of queer boys if I was worried about it.”
That much was obvious, and Ryan hadknown, but it was still helpful to hear. Oscar would have said he worried too much.
Ryan was pretty sure he worried the normal amount, and Oscar didn’t worryenough. Not that he actually wanted Oscar to worry.
“Thanks,” Ryan responded softly, a weight he hadn't realized he was carrying lifting off his chest. “And you won't tell mom and dad…?”
“Not unless you ask me to.”
Ryan nodded, relief washing over him all over again. “They'll be cool though, won't they?”
“I think so. They love you. I know you think you're a disappointment, but you're not.”
That was a little hard to believe, but right now, Ryanwantedto believe it. He felt like he was starting to come to grips with his life again.
“I just want you to be careful with Oscar,” May continued. “He’s had a hard time, too.”
“He told me,” Ryan said. “About how he ended up here, I mean. I guess you help out all the wounded animals.”
May laughed. “That’s what I’m here for. He’s a sweet boy. If you treat him right, he’ll be loyal to you forever.”
A strange pang of…somethinghit Ryan square in the chest. Something tight and uneasy. “It’s nothing serious,” he said. “Me and Oscar, I mean. We’re just having fun.”
Even as he said the words, he didn’t really believe them. Therewassomething there. That was why he hadn’t said anything about the settlement coming through yet, or made any plans to move.
Ryan knew things with Oscar would be over the moment he told him the divorce settlement had been finalized. But he didn’twantthem to be over. Not yet.
“If you say so,” May responded, sounding unconvinced. “Just… be gentle. With both of you.”
“He’ll be fine,” Ryan said. “Hell, he’s got Freddie to fall back. That guy’s not hanging around for the animals.”
Ryan wasn’t jealous. Hewasn’t. He didn’t have any right to be, anyway.
“I don’t disagree, but I don’t think you have to worry about that,” May said, squeezing Ryan’s hand.
Right. Because he wasn’t going to be here forever.
Ryan opened his mouth to tell her that the settlement had come through, that she didn’t need to put up with him anymore, but he couldn’t quite make the words come out.
He couldn’t lose Oscar. Not yet.
“If you say so,” Ryan replied. “I won’t hurt him, though. I promise.”
“Good boy.” May stood, letting go of Ryan’s hand carefully. “I’ll let you get back to work. If you need to talk about any of this, you just come to me. I know a thing or two about it.”
Despite not being entirely sure what that meant, Ryan nodded, smiling at May as she walked away.
He wasn’t sure he’d followed even half of that conversation, but it was nice to know he had his aunt’s support, all the same.
