He wanted to be Oscar’s friend. From his perspective, Oscar was maybe one of the coolest people he’d ever met.
“You still owe me that foot rub, though,” Oscar said, a teasing grin spreading over his face, making his warm eyes sparkle.
Ryan felt his face heat up as blood rushed to it, his cheeks burning with a deep blush, but… if Oscar wanted it, maybe it was okay?
Hell, maybe it was time he had friends he was allowed to have physical contact with. He’d seen Oscar and Finn hugging, and he’d thought at first that maybe they were together, but he knew now that they weren’t.
They were just… friends. Who hugged.
Ryan hadn’t been hugged in over a year, and it was starting to wear on him. Just a little, but enough that he was noticing it. Enough that seeing Oscar hug Finn had made his stomach swoop, a strange, all-consuming need to be touched suddenly overwhelming.
He’d been trying not to think too much about it.
“Yeah, sure,” Ryan said, decision made.
He’d come out here to start over. Maybe starting over could mean changing who he was, too. Maybe, if he was smart about this, he could be the person he’d always wanted to be instead of the person he’d ended up as.
Braver, more likeable, with friends he could rely on. With good people around him.
People didn’t get much better than May, Oscar, and Finn. They looked after animals out of the goodness of their hearts, for more or less no reward. He’d seen the payroll. Finn and Oscar both had to be struggling to make ends meet. May didn’t even take a wage.
But they kept doing what they were doing anyway, because they cared about it.
The first thing he’d done after the charity dinner was cut his own pay in half, making himself a contractor instead of an employee. He wasn’t paying rent and his utility bills were impossible to separate from shelter expenses, so he wasn’t paying those, either.
All he needed was enough cash to buy groceries. Besides, he was still expecting a divorce settlement eventually, and that’d be enough to live on for a while.
And then… well. He’d cross that bridge when he came to it.
“How was the haul from last week, by the way?” Oscar asked.
“Uh.” Ryan looked up, snapping out of his thoughts. “Good, actually. Gives us another couple of months, I think. Doesn’t exactly solve all our problems, but…”
“It’s a start.” Oscar nodded, flopping back onto the bed and letting his eyes fall closed. “How long do you think we can hide in here before we show our faces?”
“Probably another few minutes,” Ryan said, though he wasn’t entirely clear on the finer points of etiquette in this situation. “You can nap if you want, and I’ll wake you.”
“Way ahead of you,” Oscar mumbled sleepily. “Long drives make me sleepy.”
“I did the driving,” Ryan pointed out.
Oscar hummed in agreement, a small, lazy smile spreading over his face.
He was really pretty when he smiled.
Ryan paused.
Oscar was really pretty?
That… wasn’t a thought he’d expected to have. Objectively, it was true—Oscar had nice features, and they all worked together, and his long, dark eyelashes made his warm brown eyes look huge, and his lips looked impossibly soft.
Ryan realized after a moment that he was staring and looked away, embarrassment making him blush all over again. What if Oscar had caught him?
How would he have explained why he was standing there staring at him while he was trying to sleep?
“I’m gonna wash my face,” Ryan said, more to escape the room than anything else. There was an attached ensuite, which seemed like both a mercy and a painfully awkward fact right now. He was glad he didn’t have to share with a bunch of strangers, but hedidhave to share with Oscar, who he would have to see again on Monday after all this.
Oscar didn’t respond, so Ryan took that as his chance to escape, closing the bathroom door behind him in a hurry.
What made him think this weekend was going to be fine, again?
