“You were my first,” he said softly. “I know I probably wasn’t yours. I just… wanted you to know that you’ll always mean something to me.”
“First as in…?” Rusty trailed off, not sure how to word the rest of the question.
Blake’s intense blushing gave the answer away, though. He nodded, looking down at his eggs again, the tips of his ears practically glowing red.
“Oh,” Rusty said. “Well… I couldn’t tell.”
That was why Blake had been so hurt last night, probably. Rustymeantsomething to him.
He didn’t begin to deserve that, but he understood it.
Guilt settled in the pit of his stomach. He would have done a lot of things differently if he’d known. Been gentler, more patient. Not that Blake had complained, but…
Rusty would have liked to do better by him. He would have liked to be doing better by him right now.
“I didn’t want you to know,” Blake said. “I just… I was so grateful that someone so kind and thoughtful had just fallen in my lap while I was away from home so no one ever had to know and I could stop being nervous about it. Hope Springs is a small town, and it’sfullof gay people, but… it’s still a small town. If it’d been anyone else, everyone would have known. You offered me something important, and I’m grateful for that. I never said. But you don’t have to apologize for dragging me into this in the first place. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
Rusty swallowed, not sure how to respond to that. His heart felt tight, some unidentified feeling tugging on it, making every beat an effort.
It meant something to him, too. He probably needed to tell Blake that.
“I wouldn’t trade it, either,” Rusty said softly.
Looking back, it was the last time he remembered feeling truly free. He could never separate Blake from that feeling, and he didn’t want to.
“The sex was really hot,” Blake responded after a moment, still blushing, but this time with a smile on his face.
“Oh yeah,” Rusty agreed. “Long time ago now, though.”
Blake hummed, still working his way through breakfast. “I’ve learned a few things since,” he said. “But you never forget your first.”
Rusty laughed at that, but he couldn’t pretend to himself that it didn’t feel good. He was glad that Blake was happy with his first time, even if he regretted not being better to him.
“So, what’re we in for today?” Rusty asked. He still wasn’t sure why they’d flown in so early for the wedding, but he was enjoying his time in Hope Springs, for the most part, so he didn’t mind.
“I guess most people are hungover.” Blake smiled wryly. “There’s a family dinner tonight. Bringing everyone together so they can meet.”
Rusty chewed on his toast, waiting to see if there was anything else.
“We don’t have to go,” Blake said. “If you don’t want to. It’s not important.”
The way he said it told Rusty that itwasimportant. Maybe Blake was nervous about it, but it did matter to him, for whatever reason.
“I’m not in the habit of passing up free food,” Rusty said. “We can get out of the way if you don’t wanna go, but… don’t back out on my account. I love a good family dinner.”
He didn’t, but he was trying to be encouraging. He’d had a hiccup in his perfect husband promise, and he wasn’t about to have another one. He was nothing if not a man of his word.
“That was a terrible lie,” Blake said. “But I’m going to pretend I can’t tell and drag you along anyway. At least it’s notyourfamily. And my parents love you so much. They won’t shut up about you.”
Rusty grinned at that. “I’ve always been good with parents. Apparently I seem sensible.”
Blake snorted. “I really can’t see that, but considering the way my parents talk about you… you’re probably right.”
Rusty hummed, piling more eggs onto his toast and eating happily. He was glad he’d sorted things out with Blake.
It was nice to see him happy, and it hurt like hell to see him upset. Rusty planned on keeping him happy until they parted ways.
Even if that meant sitting through a family dinner.
