Thatwas it, wasn’t it? Everyone already thought he was with Ash. Moving here hadput him in a position where he didn’t have anything to lose by giving in tofeelings he’d probably been locking down for years.
Thelie they’d told in the beginning had set him free.
Declanwas realizing now that only part of it had been a lie.
Hewondered, just for a second, if Marv had known something he didn’t. Heremembered talking to him about Ash. He remembered talking toeveryoneabout Ash, since when they first met, Ash had been the coolest person Declan hadever known.
Hestill was, but for different reasons now.
Itwasn’t impossible that it would have sounded like he had a crush on him.
Declanwas just starting to realize that it wasn’t impossible that hehadhad acrush on him, and he hadn’t had the life experience to figure it out back then.
He’dalways been straight. Except that he pretty clearly wasn’t. Not when it came toAsh, anyway.
“Iguess,” Declan said belatedly. “I’m sorry I keep zoning out, this is just… it’sa lot.”
Ashnodded. “I know. Believe me, Iknow. I figure we could both use a littlespace to work through some of it. I mean, in the sense that I’m not all overyou right now because I think that’s better for both of us. Not because I don’twant to be.”
“Yeah,I… would like to touch you right now,” Declan said. “But I get it.”
ToDeclan’s surprise, Ash reached out and took his hand, linking their fingerstogether. Declan’s heart pounded in his chest at the contact, something insidehim easing as he felt Ash’s skin against his own.
Thiswas enough. This was exactly what he needed.
“Ithink we can stretch to touching.” Ash said, squeezing Declan’s hand lightly.
“Good,”Declan murmured, brushing his thumb over the back of Ash’s hand.
Whyhad he never done this before? There was so much simple joy in just barelytouching Ash.
Heknewwhy, but he was kicking himself for it. They had a whole lot of lost time tomake up for.
“Ilike this,” Declan said after a moment. “Just… touching you.”
Rightas he finished saying that, the door opened, the bell over it chiming asalways. Declan let go of Ash’s hand automatically, only realizing once he’d doneit that it was completely fine if he got caught holding hands with his husband.
Peopleprobablyexpectedthem to hold hands from time to time.
Heopened his mouth to say sorry, but Ash beat him to it with the gentlest touchof his fingers against Declan’s elbow.
“It’sokay,” he said softly.
Declannodded, glad that Ash wasn’t insulted by his reaction. This was new for both ofthem, but Ash hadalwaysunderstood him.
Betterthan Declan understood himself, most of the time. This was all so new, and eventhough he trusted Ash, he was still terrified. He didn’t know yet if he wantedto go down this road for real, even if he’d been faking it for just shy of amonth now.
Well,two weeks, really. The two weeks they’d still been in Denver for, he hadn’tseen much of Ash at all.
Andthen when he’d seen him again… it was like seeing him for the first time. Declanremembered that. The joy he’d felt at the idea of running away with Ash.
Thathad to mean something, but he didn’t know what yet.
Hopefully,Ash’s patience with him would hold until he figured it out.
ChapterTwenty-Four
Assoon as Ash had seen a legal-looking envelope with his and Declan’s name on it,his stomach sank.
