Wow.Was that what was going on?
It…would have explained a lot. Especially the part where he’d wanted to kiss Ashso badly he couldn’t imagine living without it, just for long enough toactuallydoit.
Entirelystraight men probably didn’t do that.
“Isthat stupid?” Declan asked, still waiting for a response other than silence fromAsh.
Ashclosed his mouth with a click. “Not stupid,” he said after a pause.“Processing.”
Declanopened his mouth to ask whatprocessingmeant, and then realized thatAsh was asking for time to think. He shoved his slice of pizza in it instead,listening to his own heart pounding in his chest while he waited for Ash to saysomething.
“Yousound unsure,” Ash said eventually.
“Iamunsure,” Declan agreed.
Hewasn’t sure about anything right now, but especially not this. The only thinghe was sure of was…
“Theonly thing I’m sure of is that I don’t want to lose you over it.”
“Youwon’t,” Ash said around a mouthful of pizza. “Not over this. I’m proud of youfor being brave enough to question.”
“CanI do that?” Declan asked. “Not, like… commit, but be…questioning, Iguess?”
“Yes,”Ash said firmly. “Definitely. That’s totally normal.”
Thatsounded like a good thing.Totally normalwas better than Declan hadexpected.
“Yeah?”
“That’swhat the Q in LGBTQ is for. Queer, or questioning. And I mean… you know howcritical thinking works. It’salwaysgood to ask yourself if the thingsyou believe are really true. And I’m here for you while you figure things out.”
Declansmiled at that. Everything Ash had just said took a weight off his mind.
Thiswas okay.Normal, even. Ash didn’t think he was an idiot, or a liar.
“Iknow, man. Thanks.” Declan grabbed another slice of pizza, sitting back andletting his tense shoulders relax for the first time in hours.
“Justmaybe give a guy a little warning before you jump on him next time,” Ash saidbetween mouthfuls of garlic bread, pushing the loaf over to Declan. “You have totry this.”
“Nexttime?” Declan asked, the tiniest spark of curiosity going off in his mind.
Andother places.
Ashshrugged. “I don’t mean to presume. I’m… open, though. To helping you figuresome things out. There’s nothing wrong with a friendly hand job, right?”
Declanlaughed, but he could feel himself blushing, as well. He hadn’t really thoughtof this as a sex thing, but…
Itkinda was, wasn’t it?
Andif anyone was safe to experiment with, Ash was.
“Right,”Declan said, looking anywhere but at Ash. There was a big difference between realizinghe was maybe attracted to his best friend and being offered sex by his bestfriend.
Declanwasn’t really used to beingofferedsex at all. It had always been amutual, spur of the moment kind of thing.
Hewasn’t entirely sure what to do in this situation.
“Nopressure,” Ash said. “And I won’t be offended if you decide it’s not yourthing. I just want you to know that I want to help. I want you to be happy.”
