He wanted to be loved that much.
And while it was too soon with Gabriel, the possibility that it could happen one day was all he needed.
It wouldn’t have been the worst thing, being stuck on a spaceship with Gabriel. There were no homophobes in space.
Reid paused to consider that. There probably were, right now, but Gabriel wouldn’t get on a ship with them in the first place. Definitely not now that he’d had his first taste of it.
“I’m not done with Earth yet,” Gabriel said. “I’ve barely experienced any of it, or any of… life, in general, at all. I want more. Leaving forever would feel too much like giving up.”
“So for all your talk of generational ships…”
“I’d build it. I wouldn’t volunteer to go. Not right now. Maybe when I’m eighty and I want to be really sure the launch goes okay.”
Reid laughed at that.
He wasn’t disappointed, not really.
Space was cool and everything, and having a boyfriend who’d been there wasawesome, but he liked this planet. For all its faults, it was home.
Knowing that he’d be sharing it with Gabriel for the foreseeable future was a relief.
“So you don’t hate everyone on the planet based on yesterday?” he asked.
Gabriel sighed, sitting back. “I’m sorry, again, for running away. I just… that’s never happened to me before. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bullying, but that was different. I don’t know why.”
“Because they were attacking your feelings instead of, like, your shoes. Feelings are the mostyouthing you have. It cuts deep.”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about why it still hurts,” Reid said.
“I understand the whole gay neighborhood thing, now,” Gabriel responded after a moment. “It’s not going to suddenly stop, is it? I mean, that’s just gonna… keep happening.”
“We got unlucky. It doesn’t happen every single time I go out or anything, but I can’t lie to you. It never entirely stops. Or at least, I’ve never heard anyone say it does.”
“Why would it?” Gabriel said. “It’s not like growing out of having a nose too big for your face.”
“Your nose is the perfect size for your face,” Reid said, confused. All of Gabriel’s features were in proportion. If he shaved and maybe got a haircut, he would have been outrighthandsome.
Reid liked him just the way he was, though.
“It isnow,” Gabriel responded, taking another slice of pizza. “Is there pineapple on this?”
“You just ate an entire slice and you’re asking now?” Reid stared at him.
Gabriel stuck his tongue out, taking a bite without bothering to check again. “I would’ve expected that to be gross, but it’s actually pretty good.”
Reid grabbed his own slice of pizza, quickly realizing that if he didn’t get in fast, he’d have to fight Gabriel over it. At the rate he was eating, he couldeasilyeat a whole pizza.
Obviously, saying he couldn’t had been bullshit. That… was also very Gabriel-like, so Reid couldn’t really be mad about it.
He just wanted Gabriel to be happy, and near him.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready to be out,” Reid said.
He hated that Gabriel had been scared back into the closet the moment he’d put a toe outside it. If he could do anything to fix that, he wouldn’t have hesitated.
But what Gabriel probably needed was time. Time to build up a thicker skin, to get used to the idea that some people were going to be uncomfortable with his existence, and that a small fraction of them wouldn’t be afraid to say so.
