Chapter Twenty-One
I’m so sorry about last night, Gabriel texted once he’d had his first sip of coffee, finally working up the courage to face Reid.
He’d been worried all night that Reid would hate him forever, but he hadn’t been able to make himselfdoanything about it until now.
He’d panicked, and he felt so guilty about what had happened. Besides anything else, he shouldn’t have left Reid alone after something like that. Reid was definitely the kind of man who could take care of himself, but leaving had still put him at greater risk than if Gabriel had stayed.
Reid had no reason to forgive him for that, but Gabriel was hoping he would.
His stomach had been in knots all morning over it, after a night of formless anxiety that he couldn’t push away.
He’d been planning to wake up next to Reid this morning, and now he regretted missing out on that, too.
Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this. Maybe that was exactly what Reid was going to say in response.
Gabriel’s phone vibrated in his hand before he’d even put it back in his pocket.
It’s okay, Reid’s text read.
It wasn’t okay. It wasn’t remotely okay, and Gabriel was pretty sure he had a lot of making up to do, but at least they were still talking. At leastit’s okaywas the starting point.
It’s not. I shouldn’t have left you, Gabriel responded, glancing around the coffee shop for a table. If he had to do this in front of people—and it looked like he was going to—the anonymity of a coffee shop seemed more comfortable than having to face Alice, who he was starting to think of as a friend.
He didn’t need sympathy right now. He couldn’t have handled it.
I would have preferred you didn’t, but I understand why you did. And I get it. It shakes you the first time. Hell, it shakes you the hundredth time.
Gabriel stared at that.
Hundredth time.
It was going to keep happening. Reid was so sure it was going to keep happening that he just stated it as fact.
Gabriel sat down at a free table, hoping it wasn’t too obvious that he was having one of the most nerve-wracking conversations of his life.
Space had been easy compared to feelings. He understood space. Getting attached to another person the way he was getting attached to Reid was new to him.
Was that your hundredth time?Gabriel asked, not entirely sure he really wanted to hear the answer.
Dunno, lost count.
Gabriel’s heart sank.
You didn’t deserve that,he replied.
Neither did you. Besides, compared to some things I’ve heard, that was almost funny.
It hadn’t seemed funny to Gabriel at the time, but looking back, he hated that he’d run away from something that barely qualified as an insult.
That made his reaction worse, if anything. He’d never been under any real threat.
It justfeltlike it. He’d known that there’d be consequences for being out, for finally accepting who he really was. He’d been waiting for them, trying to tell himself that it was all worth it.
And then he’d run away at the first sign of trouble.
Don’t worry about me,Reid added.I’m worried about you. Are you okay?
Gabriel chewed on his lip as he thought about that, his leg bouncing under the table he’d found in the corner.
