Chapter Fifteen
Despite having urgent emails in his inbox and work he really had to finish by the end of the day, Gabriel’s mind kept wandering back to Reid again and again.
Last night had felt sogood. He wished now that he’d been braver to start with, asked for more, but Reid was still interested. They could have more, later.
It had been too much and not enough all at once. Reid’s hands on him in a context where he wasallowedto enjoy it had been amazing, even better than he’d imagined, and he wanted more of that.
So much more.
He wanted Reid’s cock. He’d been scared to ask, but ever since the thought had occurred to him he couldn’t get the idea out of his mind. Maybe he’d hate it, but thethoughtwas hot, the idea of being on the receiving end for once so exciting that he could barely contain himself as he pictured it.
Reid was really hot, too.
It was really starting to sink in for Gabriel that he was definitely attracted to men. That he always had been.
He hadn’t had a whole lot of time to find out. All the sex he’d had before last night had been initiated by someone else.
With Reid, it had been different. Better. Before it had definitely fulfilled a need in Gabriel, but now it seemed like something to look forward to. Something that didn’thaveto feel awkward and embarrassing, something that could be enjoyed.
He’d never really enjoyed sex before and he hadn’t realized until Reid had come along.
“Hey,” Alice waved a hand in front of him. “Are you in there?”
Gabriel blinked, coming back to reality.
“Oh, I, uh…” How long had Alice been standing there? He’d completely zoned out. “I was just… thinking about… someone…”
He blushed all the way down his neck, the collar of his t-shirt suddenly itchy.
“Gabe’s got a giiiiiirlfriend,” she sing-songed, grinning broadly.
“A boyfriend, actually,” Gabriel said.
Within a half-second, his stomach sank. He shouldn’t have said that.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” he added, panic making his heart pound in his chest. “I don’t, I’m not… no one knows… I’ve never…”
Alice shushed him gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, hey, chill. It’s okay. I’m not gonna out you without your consent.”
Gabriel nodded, hearing everything Alice was saying but not entirely convinced it was true.
He had no idea what it would do to his career if people knew he was gay. It had never come up before, it had never been an issue.
But now… now itwas. He’d never really thought twice about it before, rarely been aware of the sexual orientation of the people he worked with, but now he was suddenly hyper-aware that some peoplewouldcare, that he’d need to be careful about who he told.
He’d never even considered that he might, at some point in his life, need to beout.
That seemed like such an alien concept that Gabriel wasn’t sure he could even begin to understand it.
“You look like you’re still freaking out,” Alice said.
“I am,” Gabriel admitted, knowing there was no point in lying. He trusted Alice. He hadn’t known her long, but like Reid, he justtrustedher.
“I’m seriously not gonna tell anyone,” Alice said. “I have a girlfriend,” she added.
Gabriel blinked at that. She said it as if he should haveknownthat, and he wondered now if she’d told him before and he’d ignored it.
He did that sometimes. Not on purpose, but because it didn’t really matter to him. As long as she showed up, did the work, and didn’t make their shared space unusable, Gabriel was happy. He wasn’t in the habit of prying into other people’s personal lives.
