Chapter Fourteen
Reid woke with a start, unsure where he was for a moment before remembering that he’d sat down in the armchair beside the couch when he came back into the living room to find Gabriel asleep.
He must have dozed off, too.
Groaning as he stood, Reid stretched his arms high above his head, his back reminding him why he wasn’t supposed to sleep in armchairs. Gabriel probably felt about the same if he’d napped on the couch.
It might have been more gentlemanly to move them both to the bed, but honestly, Reid had been too exhausted for that. He could normally have lifted Gabriel, but he’d been worn out, too.
Physically, but also emotionally. HelikedGabriel. More than he liked most of his partners. He’d had time to get attached, and while he wasn’t about to get down on one knee, it meant a little more than usual to him.
Especially being Gabriel’s first man. That meant alot, and Reid wasn’t sure he’d done anything to deserve the honor.
Gabriel was standing by the window—which ran the whole length of that wall of the apartment, floor-to-ceiling. It was the sole reason Reid had bought the place, so he could look out at the sky and the mountains. The long commute was worth it.
He walked over, putting his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders, dropping a kiss on his neck. Gabriel was still sleep-warm and naked, which made him basically perfect.
“How’re you feeling?” Reid asked.
“You sure you want a response to that?” Gabriel kept looking out the window. Reid could see his reflection just clearly enough to know that he was watching the stars.
“Positive,” Reid said. He was genuinely curious about how Gabriel felt now that he’d had at least some sexual contact with another man.
At least he wasn’t pushing Reid away. That seemed like a good sign.
“Mostly confused. Partly grateful. I just… I don’t understand any of this. I feel… different, since I got back to Earth. Different in ways I can’t even explain to myself, let alone anyone else. And one of those differences is how I feel about you.”
“So space made you gay?” Reid asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No, I… I guess it sounds like I’m saying that, but I’m not. I think… maybe I was always attracted to men, but you have to understand, I have put asideeverythingin favor of my career, including things like dating or even asking myself what I really wanted. You’re my third sexual partner in my entire life.”
“Oh.” Reid said. He knew Gabriel was kind of a workaholic, but he hadn’t realized quite how far that went. “Well… I couldn’t really tell, if that helps.”
“Because you thought my nervousness wasjustabout you having a dick,” Gabriel said. “I’m not used to sex involving other people. I guess what I’m saying is that achieving all my dreams has left me with a lot of scope to figure out what I missed out on to do it. And…”
Gabriel paused, sighing heavily. Reid moved his arms to Gabriel’s waist, splaying his fingers wide over Gabriel’s stomach, holding him just a little closer. “Take your time.”
“When I was up there, I realized how lonely I am. I have no one. And I’m trying to work out why that is, but I think maybe part of it is because I don’t know myself particularly well. It’s hard to let people in if you’re not sure where the door is.”
“You were a gifted kid, huh?” Reid asked, wanting to hug Gabriel tight and tell him everything was okay.
He’d had this moment, too, but he’d had it years ago, before college, when he’d almost died.
The moment when he realized that achieving things and working hard wasn’tlife. Life was everything else, all the in-between parts. Life was about more than your career.
He was still an overachiever, but he’d learned to stop and smell the roses, too.
Nothing had stopped Gabriel until now, and he didn’t know where to start.
“Yeah,” Gabriel said. “So were you,” he added perceptively.
“Yeah,” Reid murmured, nuzzling Gabriel’s hair. “Special classes, extension programs, the works. It’s a lot to put on a kid’s shoulders. And it doesn’t give you a whole lot of space to make friends and interact with other people.”
“The only time I ever got invited to a birthday party was when the birthday kid was inviting the whole class. I learned to hate them early.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that. No prom date, either.”
“I didn’t go,” Gabriel said.
