Chapter Twenty-Two
The moment Sam brushed past him, Ben felt sick to his stomach.
He’d thought Sam would appreciate the gesture, but maybe he’d read the whole situation wrong. All he’d wanted to do was let Sam know that he wasn’t good at talking about his feelings, and sometimes he wasn’t good at showing them at all, but…
Hehadalways loved Sam. He’d fallen in love with Sam on the first day, fallen for his brightness and laughter and all the things Ben needed—craved—in his life.
It had taken him years to realize he wanted anything other than friendship, months more to fully admit it to himself, and then too long—a decade too long—to admit it to Sam. All Ben had wanted was for Sam to understand how much he meant to him.
Once he got back to their room, he found Sam standing in the middle of it, staring out the window. Ben swallowed, not sure where to start.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said, figuring that was as good a place as any.
Sam turned around and looked at him, tear tracks shining on his cheeks. Then, unexpectedly, he shook his head.
“You didn’t upset me. I was just… overwhelmed. I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard.”
Ben frowned, unsure what Sam meant.
“I knew you loved me when I left, but I’d never heard it, so it didn’t seem… real, I guess. But now, I just… I don’t care how hard this is going to be or how we still need to get to know each other again or that I can’t just wave a magic wand and fix everything we’ve been through apart.” Sam swallowed visibly. “I just want you to tell me that we’re gonna try. When all this is over.”
Ben breathed a sigh of relief, taking a hesitant half-step toward him. “Look… I know everything isn’t perfect and I know we’re new-relationship blind at the moment, but… I also know that you were the love of my life back then, and I don’t… no one’s ever come close since.”
Before Ben could continue, explain that he’d do anything if Sam would just stick around this time and let him adjust and maybe forgive him for being so slow to get to where he was now, Sam closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around him.
All the worry, all the tension fell away from Ben within seconds. He pulled Sam in close, hugging him tightly, silently daring the universe to eventryto take him away again.
This was worth fighting for, even if it meant fighting himself.
After a few moments, Sam turned his head and kissed Ben’s neck, taking his time, brushing his lips against the sensitive skin there.
Arousal curled in Ben’s gut immediately, the sensation going straight to his cock.
“I want you,” Sam murmured.
They were supposed to be leaving in an hour, and Ben hadn’t even started to pack yet. They’d be cutting it fine if they paused to do anything else.
“We have to leave,” Ben objected, though he knew he’d crumble under even the slightest touch from Sam. He’d done all the resisting he was ever going to do.
“You make me come quickly,” Sam murmured against his ear, his breath tickling the short hairs at the nape of Ben’s neck, making them stand on end.
He was definitely done resisting. His cock was already telling him that he wanted Sam way more than he wanted to make checkout time.
“I’ll make the drive back if you fuck me,” Sam promised, his voice still low. Ben chuckled.
“You want me that bad?” he asked, surprised by the offer. Not that he was about to object. It was a long drive, after all.
Sam hummed, pressing a kiss into Ben’s neck. “Pretty much. If you hold out long enough, you could get a whole list of offers.”
“I don’t think I can hold out,” Ben admitted. He gasped as Sam’s hand moved between his legs, squeezing his cock through his jeans.
“Well, if you’re waiting for an invitation…” Sam trailed off, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Ben’s jeans, wiggling them against the sensitive skin of his belly.
Ben didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed Sam back toward the bed, only stopping when he was forced to by Sam sitting down on the edge, looking up at him again. Ben fell to his knees in front of him, then reached out to grab the hem of Sam’s shirt without missing a beat.
Sam didn’t flinch or hesitate this time, raising his arms to help Ben get his shirt off.
“You’re perfect,” Ben said softly. “Don’t ever think otherwise.”
