Chapter Nineteen
Despite spending the last ten years on one long working holiday, Sam couldn’t ever remember waking up as refreshed and content as he had this morning. He’d rolled over to see Ben beside him, smiled, kissed him, and then been told he’d woken just in time for breakfast.
As mornings went, it was pretty perfect.
“You look happy,” Ben said between bites of pancake.
Awful as the owners of this place had turned out to be, they knew how to put together a decent breakfast. Sam had always thought that no one was truly evil.
Cruel, maybe, or selfish, but not evil.
“I am,” Sam responded. He hadn’t been happy like this, down to his bones, in a long time.
He definitely hadn’t been this at peace since he’d left. Ben had a way of making him feel safe and calm in a world that was otherwise terrifying.
“Good,” Ben smiled a tiny, shy smile at his pancakes.
No matter how good he felt right now, though, Sam was already starting to dread that this would all be over when they left. That Ben would decide it had been fun playing pretend, but that once they went back to the real world, their lives would be too separate to weave them back together.
Sam didn’t even have a place to stay once this was over. He could find an apartment as long as he wasn’t picky about it, but he didn’t have any plans.
What if Ben took that as a sign that he wasn’t serious? That he was ready to run away again at a moment’s notice?
Ben had no reason to believe he wouldn’t. He’d done it once already.
Sam’s suddenly sour mood didn’t improve at all when he looked up and saw Annie walking toward the table.
“Good morning,” she chirped, a broad, fake smile spreading across her face. “This is for you, as promised.”
She handed an envelope over to Ben, who accepted it grudgingly. His mood had obviously just taken a nosedive as well, although that might have been acting.
Sam was learning that Ben was a better actor than he would have given him credit for.
That didn’t help at all with his fears about whether or not Ben would want to stay together once they left here. Maybe he’d just gotten used to playing the part.
“Thanks,” he said, back to his gruff, shut-off normal self. The self he showed to just about everyone else in the world.
Except Sam. The warm, playful man under that outer shell had been reserved for him once upon a time.
Sam bristled as Annie ran her hand up Ben’s arm. He knew he didn’t need to be jealous, that Ben wasn’t interested, that he was just playing along for the sake of the story, but jealousy still swirled in his gut as he watched.
He looked away, focusing on his plate instead.
“And good morning to you too, handsome,” Annie said. “You look worn out.”
Sam shifted uncomfortably at being calledhandsome. It felt pointed, like she was just trying to draw his attention to his scars.
If that was the point, it was working. Not that Sam was about to let her know that. He looked up again, smiling just as broadly as she was.
“Ben wore me out this weekend,” he said, unable to keep a note of venom out of his tone. “He was definitely right about us coming here. Thanks for helping us reconnect.”
Annie blinked at him for a few moments, confused.
Sam’s stomach sank. What if he’d just blown Ben’s cover? What if she realized now that something was wrong, and Ben couldn’t get all the proof he needed?
What if he’d just screwed up Ben’s last chance at saving Ballsy, the kind of project he’d always wanted, even when they were young?
Ben would never forgive him for that. Any chance of happiness they might have had would be gone, and all because he couldn’t justplay alongfor thirty seconds.
