Oh.
Of course.
Ben’s heart broke for him, but he understood the nervousness now. Not that Sam had to worry. Whatever he was hiding, he didn’t need to. Not from Ben.
Ben poured some of the chocolate-scented oil into his hands and warmed it up the way Sam had for him.
“I know what happened to you,” he said softly. “Eliot found out and told me.”
Ben wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say. Maybe it was too much. Maybe Sam didn’t want the reminder, or maybe he’d be mad that Ben had gone behind his back to find out.
Sam swallowed thickly, more than loud enough to hear.
“Oh,” he said after a moment.
Ben reached out to start massaging his neck, hoping he wouldn’t flinch away. Thankfully, the touch seemed to ease some of the tension in Sam’s shoulders, rather than making it worse.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to tell me. Eliot kinda sprang it on me. That was where he knew your name from, I guess. Or maybe the article just turned up while he was trying to figure it out.”
“It’s okay,” Sam responded after a moment. “Saves me trying to tell you.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” Ben said, for want of something better, more meaningful to say. He was glad Sam was here. He was still processing just how much he’d missed him, how good it was to see him again.
“I thought I was dead,” Sam said softly, looking down at his lap. “And then I, uh. I thought of you. And how much I missed you, and how much I regretted leaving at all.”
“So you came back,” Ben finished, finally having all the pieces of the puzzle.
He wasn’t sure how to handle that information.
“Yes.” Sam swallowed. “For you,” he added.
“Okay.” Ben took a deep breath. All his hopes seemed to be coming true, and he wasn’t exactly sure how to deal with that. “I…”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Sam said before Ben could come up with the words. “And I understand if you’re not interested.”
“When did I say I wasn’t interested?” Ben asked, moving his fingers to rub behind Sam’s ears. “I know I screwed up when we were kids. But we’re not kids anymore.”
“I screwed up, too.” Sam tilted his head back to look up at Ben. “Forgive me?”
“You’re already forgiven,” Ben responded without needing even a half-second to think about it. He’d forgive Sam for anything if it meant they could have the closeness they’d had before back again.
Ben wasn’t the kind of man who liked to believe in overly sentimental things like soulmates, but if he had one…
It was Sam. He felt whole with Sam around, in a way he hadn’t in years. There’d been a Sam-sized gap in his life since the moment he left.
Maybe some people were just meant to be together.
Sam smiled at him and looked forward again, sighing deeply. He seemed at peace, in a way he hadn’t since he got back.
Ben wanted to make him feel like that all the time.
“How long are we supposed to do this for?” Sam asked.
Ben glanced at the clock on the far side of the room. “About another five minutes. Why, you got somewhere to be?”
“I was hoping to be alone with you, actually.”
“Oh,” Ben replied, a spark of arousal hitting him square in the gut. “Well… we could always leave early.”
Sam stood without a moment’s pause, turning around to grin at Ben, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “Deal.”
