The most important person in Ben’s world was two minutes from leaving him forever, and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to stop it. The consequences were too big.
He was too afraid.
Ben opened his mouth to say something—anything, goodbye, or I’ll see you around, or, in his wildest fantasies, I love you, please don’t go.
An announcement over the PA system stopped him in his tracks. Like all announcements in crowded places, it was barely comprehensible, but the sign for Sam’s check-in changed in response.
“Gotta go,” Sam said, smiling again. “Wish me luck?”
“Good luck,” Ben said. It was the least he could do. “Go be amazing.”
Sam’s face broke into a grin. “I’m always amazing.”
He swooped in, kissed Ben on the cheek, and then headed for the check-in queue.
Ben’s heart pounded in his chest as he looked around to see if anyone had noticed that, if anyone was going to say anything.
They didn’t, but his reaction told him what he already knew. He couldn’t have Sam. He couldn’t handle being out. He could barely handle admitting to himself that he even had a closet to be in.
This was for the best. If he loved Sam—and he did, and he knew he did as he watched him walk away—then letting him go was best for both of them.
Ben waited until Sam was well and truly entrenched in the line, and then ducked out of departures to head back to his car.
He let tears come once he got there, sniffing as he shoved the keys into the ignition with a lot more force than necessary.
This was better. This wasbetter.
As long as he kept telling himself that, he’d be fine.
