At least, that was his reasoning. He hated seeing kids hurt, but he liked being there for them when they were. His mom said healing was in his blood. A lot of his family were in medicine one way or another.
“I promise,” she said. “You have to go now, huh?”
“I do,” Jace agreed. “But I’ll be back in a few hours. You need anything before I go?”
She shook her head, gesturing to the book she was holding in her uninjured hand. Jace didn’t recognize it, but he hadn’t been in elementary school in a long time. He’d never really had time to catch up on what was popular with the under-ten crowd right now. Or the over-ten crowd. He didn’t really have a lot of spare time in general, which was why he fought hard to keep his derby time for himself. Working double shifts when he was asked, trading favors, anything to keep practice and game times free.
It wasn’t as though he wanted to go pro, or even thought that was an option. It was just that derby was his thing, outside of work, and he wanted to be able to keep doing it. He was really glad Noah had stayed after all, or it wouldn’t have been the same.
“That’s my girl.” Jace beamed at her. “You just call if you do, okay?”
Hannah nodded, and waved at Jace as he walked off. Kids like Hannah—the ones who’d walk away from their stay just fine—were much easier to cope with than the ones that wouldn’t. He hoped she did take up derby, because it was a much better hobby than playing on the roof.
As soon as the distraction of talking to Hannah about roller derby was over, Jace’s mind went straight back to Noah. He felt ridiculous for behaving as though he’d actually just gotten married, and not done a friend a favor. He figured that it was just because he was seeing ten times as much of Noah now.
It turned out Noah was not a morning person, which Jace probably could have guessed. Mornings didn’t start for Noah until his second cup of coffee, and there was no point trying to speak to him before then. Jace had watched him swallow down a whole cup without taking a breath more than once.
His fledgling business seemed to be going well, despite his morning problem. He was starting to talk about maybe not needing to find a job, but he still told Jace about one or two he’d applied for every day. It was nice. Domestic, even.
Jace was starting to think that once he got married for real, he’d settle into it quickly. When you had someone you liked sharing your space, company was awesome. All he needed now was someone he liked who he could also have sex with.
Well, he didn’t strictlyneedsex, but it was a nice extra. For now, Noah’s presence was improving his life in ways he hadn’t predicted, and that was more than he’d hoped for. He could live with a little celibacy in exchange for that.
Chapter Nine
Noah walked into the kitchen at a little after 2am to find that Jace was already there, sipping a glass of ice water. He shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d texted Jace through bouts of pre-game insomnia before, and always gotten a response. Not being able to sleep before a game was, as far as Noah could tell, common to most derby players. It didn’t help that the bout was in the afternoon, so they had to spend the whole morning worrying about it, too.
“Hey,” he said softly, going to the fridge for the water jug.
“Hey,” Jace turned his glass around, playing with the condensation on the outside. The kitchen was dimly lit, with just a lamp in the living area on the other side of the counter giving them light, but Noah could see dark circles under Jace’s eyes.
He’d been quiet when he came home, but Noah had been caught up in his own work and not really registered it until now.
“Are you okay?” Noah poured his own glass of water and then returned the jug to the fridge.
“I…” Jace paused, and swallowed. “We almost lost a kid today. And I know we didn’t and everything’s fine, but it’s not always fine. And one day it’s going to be everyone I love, and I can’t stop it. I know it’s stupid, but...”
Noah stopped dead in his tracks, his heart sinking down to his stomach. He’d known, logically, that Jace’s job required him to face his own mortality on a fairly regular basis. But he always saw Jace at his cheerful best, smile in place and almost irritatingly upbeat. He’d never seen him like this before.
“It’s not stupid,” Noah said, though it didn’t seem like enough. He didn’t think there were enough words in the whole world to respond to that. He didn’t like the reminder, either. Jace had been forced to face it head-on.
Jace nodded, but Noah could see tears welling up in his eyes.
“Do you need a hug?”
Jace nodded again. He stood, and Noah didn’t hesitate to step toward him, wrapping his arms around him. In return, Jace squeezed him tight. Noah didn’t have the heart to object, even if it was making it a little difficult to breathe.
He’d wondered how Jace managed to be okay all the time, and clearly the answer was that he wasn’t.
While he listened to Jace sniffing and trying to get himself under control, Noah traced circles on his back. If there was anything else he could have done to soothe him, Noah wouldn’t have hesitated. He hated to see anyone upset, but especially someone like Jace. Jace put so much good out into the world that he didn’t ever deserve to feel like this.
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” Jace said. “No one actually died.”
“You’re scared. It’s okay.” Noah squeezed him a little tighter, though he didn’t have nearly as much power in his arms as Jace did. “We all get scared sometimes.”
Jace sniffed again, and then went silent, tucking his chin over Noah’s shoulder. They stood like that, swaying a little while the kitchen clock ticked behind them. Noah couldn’t keep track of the time, and he didn’t care to, either. Jace had been there for him in his worst moment, he could be there for Jace now. He could be there for Jace whenever he needed him.
Good times and bad. That was what he’d promised. While their marriage wasn’t the traditional kind, Noah still took that part seriously. They were supposed to have each other’s backs. Jace was clearly under more stress than he liked to let on, and that was okay. Noah could help him handle it. If that was something Noah could give him, then he was happy to.
