That seemed so far away.
“I’m not saying I’m taking it,” Charlie said softly. “I just wanted you to know… I have to consider it. It’s a big opportunity. I’ll have to go Thursday night, but I’ll be back Friday afternoon, and we could maybe… talk about it then?”
Scott’s head spun. On the one hand, it seemed like a big deal that Charlie even wanted to involve him in the conversation.
On the other hand, all he could hear was that Charlie was leaving.
His heart pounded in his chest at the thought. He’d just found Charlie, just come to terms with who he really was, and now Charlie was leaving him?
He felt like a dog being left in the house while its human went out to work. Unsure the human was ever coming back.
“Uh, yeah,” Scott said, realizing that he’d been silent for too long. “Yeah, Friday sounds good.”
The extra key he’d had cut for Charlie suddenly felt like a lead weight in his pocket. He’d intended it as a subtle symbol that he was serious, that he wanted Charlie in his life, that he wanted him to be free to come and go, but now…
He couldn’t give it to him now. It would look like pressuring him to stay.
Scott didn’t want that. Thelastthing he wanted was for Charlie to feel trapped. He knew what that was like.
“Hey, uh.” Scott took a deep breath, playing with the chicken bones he still had in his hand. “I don’t want you to have any regrets, okay? Whatever happens.”
Charlie nodded, not meeting Scott’s eyes. He seemed on edge, but Scott understood why.
This was a big decision for him to make.
Scott didn’t want him staying if this was a good career move, one that would take him where he wanted to go.
His stomach was in knots, though. He didn’t want Charlie to go. He didn’t want to lose him now.
And it wasn’t that he wasn’t ready to deal with a long-distance relationship. He would have waited for Charlie, for as long as he needed to, until both of their lives got to a point where they could be together again, but he didn’t wantCharlieto be stuck with that.
It would suck. Scott knew it would suck. Charlie didn’t deserve to go through that when he could have found someone else to make him happy.
All of Scott’s feelings, all his anxiety over Charlie leaving felt so selfish. So selfish that he was disgusted with himself for not just wanting whatever was best for Charlie, not just being happy for him.
He was happy for him. He wanted Charlie to get everything he deserved.
Scott just also wanted to be a part of that, and right now, it looked like he wasn’t going to be. He didn’t have big dreams. He just wanted a quiet life and someone to come home to.
That someone could have been Charlie.
Except that now, it looked like it couldn’t.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“You,” Riley began, flopping down next to Charlie on the couch and holding out a bottle of beer, “look miserable. I have beer. Talk to me?”
Charlie took the offered beer, sighing heavily. He probably did look miserable. He hadn’t seen Scott since Monday, and now it was Thursday, and in a few hours he had to head to Denver and stay in a hotel and go to a job interview in the morning, and his stomach was in knots over all of it.
“Okay. Why are you home?” Charlie asked, avoiding the question he knew Riley was really asking. “I mean, not that you’re not welcome. I’m happy to see you and everything.”
“I broke up with my girlfriend. No, she broke up with me.” Riley shrugged. “I’m here to lick my wounds.”
“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Charlie said, blinking at him.
Riley twisted the cap off his beer, tossing the cap onto the coffee table. “I don’t tell you guys literally everything. It wasn’t all that serious. Still stung. So here I am, running home. Now, I bared my soul to you, so it’s your turn.”
Charlie wasn’t sure that counted as Riley baring his soul, but he knew he wasn’t getting out of this conversation. Besides, Riley was smart. Maybe he’d have something useful to say.
