Still sick with regret.
He watched Charlie walk out of the kitchen, heard him open and then close the front door behind him, and he stood and stared.
A lump sprang up in his throat, his stomach tight and uncomfortable.
He had no idea what the hell had just happened, but he knew something had gone horribly wrong.
Chapter Eleven
Even when Monday morning rolled around, Charlie couldn’t stop thinking about what an idiot he’d made of himself on Saturday night with Scott.
How could he have been so stupid? Of course Scott was straight. Everyone he’d been attracted to for the past year had been. He’d developed an overnight kink for straight guys without even knowing they were straight first. It was like a superpower.
As superpowers went, being able to tell someone was straight because he was attracted to them was the most crappy, useless one Charlie could imagine.
Thinking about superpowers reminded him that he needed to set up that comic book display he’d been meaning to work on. Maybe keeping his hands busy would also keep his mind busy.
Charlie stood from behind his desk, approaching the display stand right at the front of the library and starting to take the books out of their holders, stacking them so he could take them away and reshelve them later.
He wanted to set outLumberjanesfor the kids. And the latest fewAdventure Timevolumes, too.Sagafor adults. He probably needed to include some actual superhero ones as well. MaybeMs. Marvel.
“Can I help with that?”
Charlie froze in place. He would have recognized Scott’s voice anywhere, and right now, Scott was the last person he wanted to see.
His stomach twisted as he forced himself to straighten up.
“I guess I could use another pair of hands,” Charlie said. He didn’t want to lose Scott as a friend. He wanted to apologize and beg forgiveness, but he wasn’t sure where to start.
“Time for a new theme?” Scott asked. The previous one had been back-to-school, a combination of books for kids and books for parents who were sending their children to school for the first time. Charlie had needed to replace a lot of the books as they got borrowed, which was good. It meant the display was useful.
The whole point of running a library was to serve the community, and he thought he did a pretty good job of that.
“I think so. I like to change it every couple of weeks, but I left it a little long this time,” he said. This was much better than talking about Saturday.
“What’s up next?” Scott asked.
“You’ll have to wait and see.” Charlie walked over to where the returns cart was and wheeled it back to the display, stacking the books on it neatly.
“Does that mean I’m still welcome here?”
Charlie glanced over to see Scott looking sheepish, his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jeans.
“Of course you’re still welcome here. Everyone’s welcome in the library,” Charlie said.
He wanted to say that he was sorry, that he’d made a mistake, that it would never happen again, but he couldn’t quite get the words to come out.
Besides, he didn’t feel like he’d made a mistake. He wasn’t even sure Scott didn’t want to kiss him.
All he was sure of was that Scott had said he was straight, and done nothing to stop Charlie leaving. That seemed loud-and-clear enough, but he couldn’t quite squash the hope in his heart.
Scott had kissed back. He definitely hadn’t fought Charlie off. It was as if he’d wanted it, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that.
“Good.” Scott chewed on his lip, then scratched his arm, then rubbed the back of his neck. He might as well have had a neon sign above his head that said ‘I’m nervous’ in huge letters.
At least Charlie wasn’t alone in that.
“Listen, I need to apologize. I handled stuff badly on Saturday. I mean, I invited you back to meet my dogs and I meant that sincerely but I can totally see how that might have been a mixed signal.”
