Yet she felt nothing, no relief, no elation…only a strange numbness descending upon her as Roger’s warriors rushed forward to surround them and the bishop cried out above the clamor filling the great hall.
“God has judged and Lady Douglas is innocent!”
Julianna scarcely heard him, nor did she see Roger reach out for her as she pushed her way through the throng of men and ran from the great hall.
“Juli, wait!Juli!”
She didn’t stop and didn’t answer him, the numbness shattered by scorching tears as she hoisted what was left of her skirt and lurched up the tower steps.
Her heart pounding, her chest heaving as the anguish she had suffered so long ago from the brutality suffered by her family roared back to nearly fell her to her knees.
“Papa…Mama.Alain…”
Sobbing, she had to steady herself against the wall as she moved with faltering steps toward the bedchamber she shared with Roger—oh, God, help her!
She didn’t stop until she was inside the room and shut the door behind her, her fingers shaking as she fumbled to draw the bolt.
A bolt to keep Roger out…and her away from him.
Choking on her tears, she slumped to the floor with her back against the doorjamb and wept, inconsolable.
* * *
Roger was onlya few moments behind Julianna, but she had bolted the door by the time he reached their bedchamber.
His lungs still burning from the exertion of battle and his gut clenched at the terrible shock she had suffered…and he had no one to blame but himself.
He tried the latch again, knowing it was no use, his fingers bloodied from his flesh wound that she had wrapped so swiftly before fleeing from him.
He could hear her weeping uncontrollably, which made him lean his head against the door and curse himself for not revealing to her what he had realized after her nightmare in that farmer’s barn.
William had slain her brother, Alain—and mayhap their father had joined in the slaughter of her parents, Roger would never know for certain.
James Douglas had never boasted about the border raid like William, such killing a justified revenge for the bloody slaughter the English had wrought for years upon the Scots.
An eye for an eye…yet how would Roger have ever explained that to Julianna? By God, it was her family—the people she loved! He heard her near choking and coughing, she wept so desolately.
Aye, it should have beenhimto have told her—not William!
Roger sank to his haunches and splayed his hand upon the door knowing that she was just behind it. Through the wood, he felt her body shaking, which cut him to the quick.
“Juli…will you open the door? I must speak with you…try tae explain. I wasna part of that raid into Cumberland, I swear it! My father left me here and took William with him instead—”
“Go away, I don’t want to see you!”
The agony in her voice wrenching to him, Roger leaned closer and tried again.
“I beg you, lass…give me a chance. Remember when I told you about the nightmare you suffered on our way north? I realized then what I’ve feared telling you since we were wed—”
“You knew the truth and still you brought me here…knowing what William had done to my brother. I wish I had never agreed to marry you, Roger! Go away and leave me be—oh, God.”
He heard her retching then, her despair so intense…while his heart had seemed to stop to hear her utter those words.
I wish I had never agreed to marry you, Roger!
At that moment he was grateful for the bolted door between them so he wouldn’t see the loathing in her eyes—just as he had imagined would happen if she ever learned the wretched truth.
He hadn’t known the night he overheard her nightmare that he would offer to wed her…or that he would fall so deeply in love with her—och, he lied!
