Nate: Mads, shit, I’m so fucking sorry. I got roped into going to a frat party, and then my phone died.
That’s it.
NoI love you.
NoI miss you.
NoI’ll call you later.
Just a casualsorryat five in the morning, two o’clock Nate’s time.
We were supposed to Skype at one, meaning his phone wasn’t charged for four hours, which seems hard to believe.
Why not use Leo’s phone?
Frustration creeps in fast as I throw my phone across the room. Thankfully, it lands in a pile of dirty clothes. Then I roll over, scream, and cry into my pillow.
After ten minutes of feeling bad for myself, I finally shower, and when I get out, I see a missed call.
Nate.
I ring him back immediately, and it goes straight to voicemail.
I check the time, and I already know he’s at practice.
Perfect.
One Month Later
December
Today should be one of the happiest days of my life.
Instead, I’m curled up on my bed, clutching an unopened envelope in my trembling hands, tears streaking my cheeks, more upset about Nate than anything else.
I received the letter from USC yesterday while he was in class, and I promised we would open it together today.
Yet, it’s been hours and no word.
Friday is his typical night to go out, and he’ll sometimes sleep late since he sails on Sundays, but it’s late enough that he should be up for the day.
I finally broke down and called Leo, who said he hadn’t seen Nate since yesterday because he spent the night out.
A.k.a. at a girl’s place.
I try to push down my insecurities, a common occurrence as of late, and tell myself I’m overreacting, that college guys don’tactuallyforget about their high school girlfriends just because they’re surrounded by new people.
But the other night, I could have sworn I heard giggling in the background before he hung up, and I haven’t been able to get the sound out of my head.
My gut tells me Nate would never cheat…he would never even so much as talk to another girl.
But is it really my gut, or is it my heart, blinded by love, desperate to believe him?
College changes people.
It’s what Mama said the other day when I finally broke down and told her why I’ve been so upset.
I need to stop this.
