Do we ever get a break?
“She’s all right. It’s taken her a few years to figure out this living on your own thing, but she’s getting there.”
“When you convince her to visit, you let her know she’s more than welcome to stay here. God knows we have the room.”
“She’ll appreciate that. Maybe I can prove to her that the city is not just a concrete jungle, and there are beautiful homes with backyards and privacy.”
She laughs. “You’ll never take the country out of that woman, but she misses you and Mason, so she’ll come up soon enough.”
“Hope so. I worry about her.”
“If I ever see your father, he’d better watch out,” she says with meaning, and I believe it.
We found out a few years ago that Daddy had been cheating on Mama almost their whole marriage, and she knew.
She didn’t know what to do and had no one to turn to.
Whatever little money our family had, he made the majority of it. She was worried that if she left him early on, she’d have nothing to give us kids.
I’m not excusing her behavior toward me growing up. But I’ve come to realize that her controlling me was a projection of her own problems, and we’re now working on a relationship we never truly had before.
The main thing in our way now is our faith. I’ve decided to step away from the church, and she still hasn’t accepted it, but other than that, we’ve made strides in becoming closer.
“I hope none of us sees him again, especially Mason. I don’t want to bail my brother out of jail anytime soon.”
I lean in and kiss her goodbye.
“I expect you for Sunday dinner from now on.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I pause at the door and look over my shoulder. “And Rosa?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I love you.”
She smiles kindly. “I love you, too.”
“Do you think one day you can tell me about Camila’s last days and all of the in-between that I missed?”
“Tomorrow too soon?”
I shrug. “Maybe. But I’m ready to move forward.”
“I hope you mean that in more ways than one.” She pauses. “He’s a good man, Maddie. All my sons are, but Nate has a kind soul, one that comes around once in a lifetime.”
I nod, my throat tight. “I know he does. It’s my favorite thing about him.”
I blow her a kiss, then step outside and take a deep, calming breath for the first time in a long time.
19
Maddie
The steady humof the kiln and the soft crackle of cooling rods echo around me.
The sounds of my sanctuary.
I rotate the slender rod of cobalt blue glass between my fingertips, inching it closer to the flame. The tip glows red-hot almost immediately as I slowly and deliberately spin it, letting gravity and heat coax it into the shape of the curved flower petal I envision.
