“Does Wills know?”
“Yes, we’ve been talking about it since the honeymoon. He thinks I should do it, and that even if nothing comes out of it, I’ll at least find some closure on that part of my life.”
“Well, if it means anything, I would do it if I were you. Especially after seeing him in Paris. Will you tell Jack?”
She takes a deep breath. “I will, yes. He’s going to lose his shit, but I should give him the option to come if he wants. I think it would be good for him too. My only worry is that it’s too much all at once—the baby, and now our dad.”
It’s exactly my thought.
“Let Wills talk to him. Jack only wants to protect you from getting hurt, so if he sees Wills is on board, there’s a better chance of him agreeing.”
She bumps my hip with hers. “You’re very smart.”
I let one side of my lip turn up. “I know.”
We kiss goodbye, and I promise not to ignore her anymore. Even though I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, I’ll try my best to keep my promise.
“Wait!” Sadie calls after me once I’m halfway down the street. “I almost forgot.” She hands me a piece of paper with a highlighted line on it.
“What is this?”
“It’s a copy of a note you once wrote to me, and that there,” she says as she points to the bit highlighted, “is what I want you to remember. I love you.” She hugs me tight and then returns to the house.
Please don’t let anyone erase your spirit and sparkle that makes you, you.
Jackson
“Where are you?” my sister snaps down the line.
I narrow my eyes at her attitude. “Hello to you, too. I’m home early, and I was wondering if Belle was with you. What’s with the attitude?”
“I know you’re hurting, Jack.”All right, get right into it. “But I thought you would take my advice and try to comfort each other.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
She huffs, annoyed. “Belle just left; she’s walking home. Meaning she’ll be there any minute. But I can’t tell you how hard it was for me to look at her during lunch. I felt sick to my stomach at how, in only four days, she’s changed, only going through the motions, not truly living.. How are you sitting there, looking at her and not caring? Do you not want to work this out? Because if you don’t, then tell her. Otherwise, she’ll wait forever for you.”
“You’re wrong,” I snap. “My only concern is her. It has only ever been her.” I breathe heavily, trying to collect myself. “You don’t think it’s killing me? Belle’s welfare has always been my top priority, even when we were younger. I attempt to talk to her every morning, but I’m afraid to say the wrong thing because I’m still hurting, too, Sades.” I pause. “I’m not as mad at Belle as I am that our baby didn’t live, that Belle almost died, that her mom made her keep this from us, and that I can’t take care of both of us right now. So I’m afraid if we talk, I won’t be able to express myself without fucking it all up.”
The line goes quiet, then I hear her sniffle. “Consider easing back into it. Maybe watch a movie? I don’t know, but don’t wait too long, or else too much damage will be done.”
I hear the front door open. “She’s home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Belle gasps and takes a step back. “I’m sorry, you scared me. I wasn’t expecting you home.” She bows her head and walks past me, but not before I get a good glimpse of her.
The deep, sunken circles around her eyes, the pale, lifeless color to her skin… All because I can’t man up and comfort her when we’re both hurting.
A pang of guilt stings my insides. I’m the cause of this.
I told her I would always take care of her, and the one time we should be together, mourn together, I shut her out.
What have I done?
That’s not how my queen B should look, especially mine.
She grabs a bottle of water and retreats back to her “bed” where she turns on the television. And again, I say nothing.
Just go in there.
