“Yes, that’s exactly right, Kaden. Once you put pen to paper, the rest tends to follow.”
As I head towards my car after my session with Dr. Carroll, my phone instantly vibrates in the back pocket of my jeans. When I see Jason’s name flashing across my screen, I smile.
“Jase! What’s up, my brother?”
“You busy?”
“I just left my therapist’s office. Why? What’s going on?”
“Not much. I just thought I’d call and check in on you, but I can see you were in good hands already.”
I chuckle softly. “Yeah, I’d like to think so too. Surprisingly, therapy’s been going well. The progress is slow, and I know there’s still a lot of work to be done, but I’m proud of the changes I’ve made so far. I’ve been ten weeks sober as of today.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you, man. I know you might not see it yet, but I genuinely believe things are going to get better for you. You quit drinking cold turkey, you’ve been consistent with therapy, and you’ve found your passion again. You inspire me more each day, my friend.”
“Thanks, Jase. Hearing that from you means a lot. Though, I haven’t managed to complete every task. There’s one in particular that I just can’t seem to tackle anytime soon.”
“What is it?”
“Remember the letter I’m supposed to write Skylar?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, it’s a lot harder than I initially thought.”
“Don’t overthink it. Just write whatever you’re feeling and thinking, and let the words flow. Even if the sentences come out a little cluttered, at least they’re honest and come from the heart.”
I fidget with the keys in my free hand, watching cars come and go in the carpark.
“Dr. Carroll said something similar. She said it doesn’t have to be perfect, just honest. I guess I need to stop procrastinating and just do it.”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea,” he says, pausing briefly. “Um… while we’re on the topic of Skylar, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. But... um... I don’t know how to say this.”
“It’s okay, Jase. I’m a big boy. I think I can handle it.”
“Mila and I received Skylar’s wedding invitation a few days ago.”
My fingers tighten around my phone at his words. “When’s the wedding?” I ask, swallowing the lump that’s formed in my throat.
“November twenty-fourth...of this year.”
“Are you kidding me? That’s like three months away!”
“Yeah, it is. Mila said it was Heath’s idea. He apparently couldn’t wait to marry her. And it looks like it’s going to be fairly big wedding.”
The sharp, stabbing ache in my chest—the same one that hit me the first time I learned of their engagement, returns, only this time far more intense.
My therapist would probably say it’s okay to feel this way, that it’s all part of the healing process, but I don’t see how that’s possible when my heart is shattering into a million pieces.
I can’t even be angry at Heath, because the truth is, he loves and respects Skylar in ways I failed to. And there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll be a far better husband to her than I ever was.
While it hurts to know my ex-wife has moved on faster than I can catch my next breath, her happiness is what truly matters, and that’s the only thing worth focusing on through all of this.
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and letting my mind drift into the sounds around me, an exercise my therapist has me practicing whenever strong emotions hit. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t, but today, right now, itdoes.
