“I’ve got nothing better to do today. So, all the time you need.”
“I guess before I talk about her, I should probably start from the beginning.”
I nod in silence, saying nothing, letting him find the words when he’s ready.
“You already know I was married when I met your mother. My ex-wife, Amy… she was the love of my life—beautiful, funny, and remarkably wise for her age. We grew up together as neighbours, then friends, then boyfriend and girlfriend, until we married at twenty-one and twenty-two.
“We had a wonderful marriage, for the most part. We rarely argued and always communicated openly about everything.But that all changed when our friends started settling down and having kids. At get-togethers, with all the children around, I could tell it made Amy sad. She’d look at me with this guilty, apologetic look in her eyes, like she felt she’d failed me for not being able to conceive children. I kept reminding her she was more than enough for me, that I’d still be happy with just us. But deep down, I knew she was hurting.”
He pauses, taking another small sip of his beer, a shadow of sadness crossing his features.
“The year I met your mother, Amy and I were barely talking. She started pulling away from me and would lose her temper more often than not. I tried everything to make her happy—taking her on vacations, buying gifts, surprising her with dates, but nothing worked. Nothing seemed to ever bring her joy. Then, one night, she simply said she wanted to sleep in separate rooms because she couldn’t relax around me anymore. I felt completely helpless, lost, and all I could do was just watch her slip away a little more each day.”
“Jesus. I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“There were times I thought she was purposely trying to sabotage our marriage so I’d leave her. But I was never going to. I never wanted to leave her. I loved her too much. But she was persistent. She’d start arguments over the smallest things, accuse me of things I’d never done—sometimes she would simply ignore me altogether. She kept at it until it slowly wore me down, until eventually, I stopped fighting back and let her win.
“We had just had a big fight when I walked into work one day, angry and frustrated. Your mother was there—she always seemed to be around my department when she had no reason to be. Even though her father owned the company, she’d just linger. She was young, bubbly, a social butterfly who spent more time chatting than working. Eventually, we started talking and spending time together during our lunch breaks. I never intended to betray my wife, but I felt so alone and miserable. And your mother… she was always just there.”
My father leans against the Jaguar and downs the rest of his beer in one gulp. He tosses the can into the rubbish bin by his tool station and walks over to the fridge for another.
For a moment, I worry that talking about his past might be too much for him—a sore spot. But then he clears his throat and continues.
“One night at a work event, I got blind drunk, and your mother wasn’t exactly sober either. She invited me back to her hotel, and… well, I guess you know where this story leads. Even though it was only ever that one time, that one time was all it took for her to get pregnant.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Yeah. That was my exact response too.”
“What happened then?”
“As soon as I found out, I confessed everything to Amy, and the look on her face was one I never forgot. It wasn’t hurt or disappointment I saw...it was relief. As if she’d been waiting for it to happen, and when it finally did, she was relieved.”
“Wow. That’s so fucked up.”
He nods, slowly. “Can’t make this shit up, even if I tried.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad. I had no idea”
“It’s not something I like to talk about. I never saw or heard from her again after that confrontation. She packed her things and left. I even tried reaching out to her family, but they shunned me the moment I got in touch. Then there was Susan’s father—your grandfather, Carl. When he found out I’d gotten her pregnant, he literally forced me into marrying her. Susan wasn’t happy about it either. In fact, she was more pissed than I was. But if I didn’t comply, her father made it clear he’d ensure I struggled to find work anywhere else. I had no other choice.
“We couldn’t get married right away because I was still married to Amy, and we had to be separated for twelve months before we could even file for divorce. I thought it defeated the whole point of marrying your mother, but your grandfather insisted we lie to everyone. It was a fucking mess from the start, and it never really got any better after that.
He opens the driver’s side door and lowers himself onto the seat, as if this whole conversation is starting to weighheavy on him. “I thought we’d eventually grow to love each other, especially after having children, but some relationships are just cursed from the beginning.”
“Why not just get a divorce? It’s obvious you and Mum are never going to have a happy, healthy marriage.”
“It’s too late for that, Kaden. Our time to leave and start over again has well and truly passed.”
“No, it’s not. You’re sixty-eight, Dad, and Mum is, what? Fifty-eight? You guys still have plenty more years ahead of you. You still have a chance at happiness. It’s never too late.”
“I’m too tired for that. Your mother and I may not be your typical loving husband and wife, but we’ve stuck by each other’s side this long. What’s another ten, or twenty years more? To tell you the truth, son. I’ve already experienced happiness, with Amy, and then, with you and your brother.”
“What about Mum? Don’t you think she deserves to be happy?”
“I’ve never forced her to stay, Kaden. She’s always known she could leave me at any time. But she chooses to stay. And until she decides she no longer wants to be in this marriage, I’ll continue living the rest of my life with her. Even if we have to be in separate rooms from each other.”
“Man, you’re both as crazy as each other. Maybe you really are a match made in hell,” I tease, and that earns me a loud, booming laugh from him.
