“Obviously,” I laughed. “What kind of romance? Tell me about the book you are reading right now.”
She looked away as if she were being modest, and I saw pink staining her cheeks. It could have been from our activities, but somehow I knew it was because of the books.
“If that’s your reaction, you have to tell me now,” I said.
“Well, it’s a book about a woman who is stalked, and one day her stalkers find her, and chase her through the woods. The game is if they catch her, they get to fuck her.”
“Jesus,” I let out a breath and she chuckled. “That’s…intense.”
“Yeah, but she’s into it, see she had gone on a chat forum and told her stalkers everything. They have been obsessed with her for years so they saw their opportunity. I’ve only justgotten up to the part where the author reveals who they really are and how they are connected to her. It’s kind of brilliant."
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, one is her brother’s best friend who she’s been crushing on and well, he obviously has a crush on him too, and the other is her best friend. It’s really cool. I like it, anyway.”
“And you like that…being chased?”
She shrugged her shoulders, leaning on my chest with her hands splayed under her chin. Her bright eyes looked up at me and all I saw was innocence. How this woman could like romance like that was beyond me…but then again, the idea of chasing her down, hunting her and taking her against a tree or in the dirt did have a positive effect on me…and I’m not sure if I was more scared of that or of what she was telling me.
“I don’t know, it sounds hot in the books, and let me tell you, it gets me fired up when I’m reading it, but if I were to ever do it, obviously I would want it to be someone I trusted, not two stalkers who I don’t know…if that makes sense. I mean the mask aspect is totally hot too, but yeah…I guess I just like reading romance that’s not normal. I like to be surprised.”
“I get it,” I told her, smoothing my hands down her arms. “We all like something different. Otherwiselife would be pretty boring. I’m not judging you, just didn’t expect it from you.”
Her smile was weak, and I could tell she was still a little nervous about telling me. “Because I was a virgin?”
“No,” I chuckled. “I guess because you’re all sunshine and rainbows most of the time, so the darker aspects of being chased didn’t really seem to fit but I’m not judging you, Darby. I would never do that.”
“Tell me something about you…why do you like cooking so much?”
I sighed, not wanting to go into my family’s sordid history. Especially not with her. Yet, I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“My grandma looked after me a lot, my parents were always fighting and for the first eight years of my life, it was just me. She hated what my parents were like and there would be days where I would go without food or water because they simply forgot I was there. They were passionate about each other, it was either they loved or hated each other. There was no in between. My grandma would come and take me to feed me full meals and make sure I was drinking water. I’d get a hot chocolate before bed if I read her a book and cleaned up the plates so I always did. One day, I was about ten and she was starting to make recipes for her cookbook and sheasked me to come and help. She taught me how to tell when fruit and vegetables were ripe by feeling them, or how long you needed to saute vegetables so they were carmelised. She just had a passion for it and I loved it because at the end of the process, you got an awesome meal. I guess I still do it because I like to be healthy, and I like feeling like I’ve done something. It reminds me of her.”
“Is she still around?”
“Yeah, she lives in Naas. I don’t see her very much anymore.”
“Did you grow up in Naas?”
I felt the sigh bubble to the surface before I could stop it. “No, she moved there…to be closer to my Da. I don’t want to see him, so I stay away. She understands.”
She nodded. “You could call her.”
I brushed a hand down my face, hating how guilty I felt for not doing that. It just hurt to not see her so much.
“I could,” I replied. “I should…I probably will when this is all over.”
“Will it ever?” she sighed. “Not that I’m complaining, but I want to go on bike rides for more than five minutes one day.”
Guilt chewed at me. I’d been given the green light to tell her about her family and instead, I’d taken herto bed and taken her virginity. I was the lowest type of scoundrel.
“Tell me about your family,” I said.
“Why?”
“I’m just curious how someone so beautiful and pure can come from such assholes.”
Her chuckle was sweet, and yet held an edge to it. There was so much I didn’t know about her and I hated that. I had a strong urge to protect her from everything, overwhelmingly so.
