“A little,” I admitted. “But I’m more afraid of losing this — losing you.”
“You won’t.”
I tightened my hold on her. “I’ll kill you if that’s what it takes.”
“I don’t want you to love me that hard. I don’t want you choosing life or death.”
“Then don’t make me,” I said. “Death is better than life if I can’t be wit’ you.”
“You scare me sometimes, Romelo,” she stated against my lips, the smell of weed heavy on her breath.
“Good, because you’re stuck wit’ me now. In this life and the next,” I stated, sealing it with another peck to her kissable lips.
I meant what I said. There ain’t no flaking on how I feel. I’m more afraid of the possibility of Synthia letting go amid our choices of shit being taboo, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
CHAPTER EIGHT
SYNTHIA “JUICY” BROOKS
The morning sunfiltered throughthe sheer curtains of the villa, casting golden rays across the marble floors. I stood in the doorway with my arms folded, watching Mimi zip up her Glam-A-Holic monogram tote bag. The tension between us was thick. We’d spoken, but I could sense the vibe change from all the bullshit that happened yesterday. I felt bad for putting her between the two of us — Trecee and I — being forced to choose.
“You good?” I asked softly, my voice low.
“I’m straight,” she mumbled.
“I wish you could stay another day with us,” I grinned, trying to talk around the suffocating tension.
“Yeah,” she tittered. “My mama don’t want to babysit her bad-ass grandkids another day, and school is tomorrow.”
“We need to come back, maybe a girls’ trip or something,” I mentioned.
“Yeah, that’d be nice,” she mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact with me.
“Mimi,” I sighed, inching further into the room, closer to her. “You can’t even look at me.”
“It’s not about you. As bad as it is, I’m just as guilty as you are,” she shot off. “You better know what the fuck you’re doing. That’s all I have to tell you.”
“I know what I’m doing,” I assured her.
“This doesn’t change the fact that I don’t love you any less.” The corners of her lips turned upward into a smile.
“I love you too, bitch,” I uttered.
Placing her bag on the bed, she hugged me. Ineededit, and she knew I needed it. Mimi is more like a sister than Trecee is a cousin. Blood ain’t thicker than water, but Mimi took prideintreating me like a sister more than a friend. I didn’t want our friendship to become tainted or in the gray because of my decisions. I’ll risk losing Trecee, but Mimi — I won’t risk taking that fall.
When we pulled back, there were tears welling in her eyes, matching mytear ducts. We didn’t have to speak on it. Our emotions were running amok and neither of us could control it. It made me regret ever involving her and allowing a moment of vulnerability to cloud the guilt I let settle inside all those months ago.
“As long as he makes you happy, that’s all that matters. You know I got your back through the storm.”
“I know,” I spoke somberly. “That’s why you’re my girl.”
“Now I ain’t saying I’ll ever trust your ass in the same room as my nigga,” she joked, getting a laugh out of me.
“Shut up, wench,” I hit her playfully.
Her phone chimed. It was a notification from Uber, cutting our goodbyes shorter than we wanted to.
“You look of fuckin’ good taking this dick like a big girl bae,” Romelo moaned from behind me, stuffing me dick.
