"Eleven," Holden offers helpfully.
"It's fine," I insist. "She needed help. I helped. End of story."
Ashton leans in, lowering his voice. "You know what I think? I think you're hoping she changes her mind."
"I'm not hoping for anything."
"Liar."
Coach blows the whistle before I can respond, which is probably for the best. Because Ashton's right, and I hate that he's right. I hate that they can all see through me so easily.
We line up for the next drill, and I throw myself into it with more aggression than necessary. Maybe if I hit hard enough and skate fast enough, I can outrun the truth.
But the truth follows me around the ice. Sutton's back in my house, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to survive it. I just gave her my approval to stay through the end of the school year.
How in the hell am I going to see her every day and not be pissed at her? Or be sad. How can I move on when I feel chained to the very thing I’m supposed to be forgetting?
Chapter Three
SUTTON
Itell myself it's temporary.
“Maybe you should just take everything,” Keira says. “I mean, you’re not really going to move back in here, are you? This place is a deathtrap. You have a perfectly good room in a very nice house.”
I shove the rest of my panties into the garbage bag. That’s how I’m moving. The fire department has given residents an hour to get our shit and get out. The building is officially condemned until further notice. That could be a week or a year.
I have a feeling it’s going to be razed to the ground. They’ll build a fancy new building with rents too high for the scholarship kids.
Just another way for Avalon to clean house. Get rid of the poor people from their pretty little town.
“I guess it’s a good thing I’m poor.” I sigh. “I don’t have much. A box of trash bags is all I need to move.”
“I’m sorry. I really wish I could be roomies with you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. Four months. I can make it.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I cannot imagine how weird it must be.”
I pull open my dresser drawer and start throwing socks into the bag. "It's beyond weird. This morning, I stood in that kitchen drinking coffee like I still belonged there. Ashton was talking to me about some exam, and I'm nodding along, and the whole time I'm thinking—this is insane. I don't live here anymore."
"And Declan?"
"Declan barely looked at me." The words come out more bitter than I intend. I grab another handful of clothes. "Which is fair. I mean, what did I expect? That he'd be thrilled to have me back?"
"You guys didn't talk at all?"
"I tried. Last night. He shut me down." I move to the closet and start yanking hangers down. "He said, 'Not tonight,' and walked away. Then this morning he acted like I was just another piece of furniture."
"Maybe he needs time."
"Maybe he hates me." I grab a sweater, ball it up, and shove it into the bag so hard it rips. "I wouldn't blame him."
Keira sits on the edge of my bed, watching me tear through my belongings like a tornado. "You don't really believe that."
"I don't know what I believe anymore." I pause. "I ran into him on campus earlier. Told him I'd be out tomorrow. You know what he said?"
"What?"
