And he’s right.
I only have to be here for five months. In five months, I’ll graduate and leave Avalon behind.
Just that thought nearly has me bursting into tears. I’m not just leaving behind a pretentious town and the grueling classwork—I’m leaving him.
I quickly delve into my usual pick-me-up speech.
“It’s for the best. He’s going to be fine. You’re fine. You’ll both be happy.”
Bullshit.
My phone screen lights up.
Declan.
I watch it—four rings, then darkness. I exhale.
Thirty seconds later, it lights up again.
I turn it face down on the counter.
I know he’s home. I’m not even going to pretend I hadn’t been counting down the minutes until he got home and discovered I was gone.
I know this is cruel. I know that, right now, he's standing in the house and confused. And hurt. He's calling me because confusion is what you do when someone disappears without anexplanation. I owe him an explanation. IknowI owe him that. I've known it since the moment I loaded the last box into my car and drove away without leaving a note.
I planned to call him like an adult and tell him I was moving out.
But I couldn’t do it. I’ve been pretending everything is fine because I didn’t want him distracted while he was supposed to be focusing on his future.
He’s called a few times. Sent a text, but I didn’t read it.
I open my Notes app and start typing a response. Words matter. I need to make sure I send the right message. I love him. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have.
I should have told you before you left. I'm sorry for the way I did this. I moved out because?—
I stop. Delete it.
I know you're confused. I'm not trying to hurt you. I just?—
Delete.
I love you. That's the whole problem. I love you, and I can't hold you back.
I close the app.
The candle flickers on the counter. I stare at the bouncing flame and wonder what he’s doing right now. Is he angry? Maybe he’s relieved.
My phone buzzes once—another text.
I don't look at it.
Twenty minutes later, someone knocks on my door.
A shiver of panic rolls through me, and then I remember Declan doesn’t know where I live.
Keira is the only person who knows this address. I told her not to tell anyone. She hesitated. I know it puts her in a weird position with Crew, but I was her friend first. And she and Crew aren’t serious.
I unlock the deadbolt, chain, and handle, then open the door.
