I roll my eyes. “Everyone has laundry day clothes, and it’s wasteful to throw away ketchup packets. The restaurants can’t reuse them. What happens when those things aren’t cute anymore?”
“You mean when I'm rich and famous?" He laughs bitterly. "Sutton, I don't even know if I want that."
I stare at him. "What?"
"Can we sit? We need to talk about the elephant in the room."
We sit back down on his bed.
"Seattle," I say quietly.
"Yeah. Seattle." He runs his hand through his hair. "We've been avoiding talking about it."
"Because it's complicated."
"It's more than complicated. I don't know if I want to go."
My heart skips. And I immediately feel awful for hoping he won’t go. “Declan, it’s an amazing opportunity. You have to. You need to at least give yourself the chance to see if it’s what you want.”
"Is it my dream? Or is it my dad's dream?" He leans back against the headboard. "I love hockey. I do. But the idea of making it my whole life? Of traveling constantly, having no control over where I live, and dealing with the pressure, the media, and the constant scrutiny? I don't know if that's what I want."
"Your dad would lose his mind."
"He already is.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t imagine what I would do if my father didn’t support me.”
“It sucks.”
"Declan, don’t choose not to go to Seattle because of me. You'll resent me eventually. You have to go. You’ll always wonder what could have been."
“I could never resent you, but I get it. I hear what you’re saying. I need you to know—you're not competing with anything. You're not less than anyone. And you absolutely belong in whatever world I end up in because you're the one who makes it worth being in."
I press my forehead against his. "Just promise you’ll never look at me like I'm the scholarship kid who got lucky for a while."
"That's never going to happen."
“I want you to go to camp,” I say. “Please. If you hate it, fine. If you love it, great. But please promise me you’ll at least try.”
"And if I decide I want to sign?"
"Then we figure it out. Long distance. Visits. Whatever it takes." My voice wavers. "I'm not going to be the reason you give up on your dreams."
"Okay. I'll go to dev camp.”
We get ready for bed, falling into the familiar routine we had before everything fell apart.
When we're finally under the covers, he pulls me close.
"Thank you," he says into the darkness.
"For what?"
"For giving me another chance. For being willing to work through this."
"Thank you for writing that letter. For fighting for us." I press a kiss to his chest. "For choosing me."
"Always," he promises. "I'll always choose you."
