“Were you spiraling just now?” he asked.
“Do you want to sleep under the covers? Do you need to remove your jeans? Do you have like uh—pajamas somewhere?”
“No, yes, and I sleep naked.”
I gasped, heat crawling to my cheeks. The bastardgrinned. “Sure. Get a little blood and I’ll leave you to it.” I handed him my arm, taking a step closer to stop near his head.
Carter grabbed my wrist, pulling it close to his lips. I closed my eyes, bracing for the sharp but short pain I’d feel the moment his teeth would dig into my flesh, and the inevitable lust that would follow. But it never came. His lips brushed a soft kiss on the skin before he sighed. “I need you to stop avoiding my eyes, Lola.”
“I’m not doing that,” I said.
“Really.” That didn’t sound like a question. “Then why won’t you open them?”
Carter lying on the floor in front of the house. Golden blood pouring out of his nose. Revulsed eyes. The crippling feeling of being powerless. Alone. Of losing everything and everyone around me.
“Because if I don’t see the dark circles under your eyes or the dried blood on your face, then it didn’t happen. It wasn’t real. Then, I didn’t feel like I was losing you before we—”
A loud shriek escaped my throat as he pulled me to him, making me fall half on his chest, half on the soft bed.
“Ouch.” He chuckled, pulling again to adjust my position, placing both my knees on the outside of his thighs, straddling his lap.
“Why areyouthe one complaining? You pulled me!”
“Oh, I’m not complaining,” Carter said, tugging on my arm some more to place my palm on the pillow next to his head. “Or, I wouldn’t be if you opened your damned eyes and looked at me.”
I didn’t. Instead, I buried my face in his neck, taking a deep inhale of his scent. Something like Jasmine, wood, and blueberries. Damn, I didn’t usually like how Divines smelled, but if I could stuff my head in his chest for days, just breathing him in, I would.
I’d been tossing and turning in bed for over an hour, thinking about my reaction to being faced with my brother and wondering if I should have gone to Carter’s room instead when Marcus had called me about my angel being unconscious outside.
I thought I had lost him. I thought that, somehow, I’d been cursed to lose all my mates as a late punishment for betraying the Astrals.
I couldn’t look at him. Not now. Or he’d see the tears that threatened to fall again after they already spilled as I shook him for ten long minutes outside.
His arms tightened around me, holding me close. His heartbeat was steady, thumping against my chest. He was here. Alive. No one found a way to kill him and rip his soul away.
He washereand he wasmine.
I pushed my hair to the side with a shuddering breath, exposing my neck, before sliding my hand behind his head.
“Lola,” he rasped. “I’m fine. I don’t need—”
“Ineed it. I need to feel you’re still with me. That you didn’t disappear and leave me behind.”
His breath caught as he moved, sliding his nose along the side of my throat. His tongue. Dropping soft kisses. But he didn’t bite, only grazing his teeth against the skin, sending shivers along my spine and arms. Hands slipped under the hem of my T-shirt and slithered up my thighs. I didn’t hesitate in making my made-up panties disappear, and Carter whispered a curse as he reached my hip joint.
“Fuck, Lola…”
The bulge pressing between my legs felt impossibly harder as it throbbed. I couldn’t help but rock on top of him, desperately seeking friction. Searching for anything that would make me feel less cold, less scared. Anything to makehimfeel alive too.
I straightened up, finally opening my eyes to look at him. He had somehow turned off most of the lights, leaving only a soft warm one on his bedside table. My breath hitched. Carter’s skin looked almost golden, his deep blue eyes half closed and glassy, lips slightly opened in awe as I pulled the large T-shirt over my head.
It didn’t take me long to unbutton his jeans and slide them down his legs as he removed his own T-shirt in one single motion.
In all our little moments in the past days, I never took the time to properly admire him. His gorgeous chiseled body, bulging muscles, powerful arms. The innocent but lustful look in his hazy gaze.
I raked my nails from his collarbone to the waistband of his tight boxer briefs. He didn’t stop me as I slid them down, lifting his hips to help me.
His hard length fell on his stomach. My core clenched in anticipation and I bit my lip at the sight.
