I reached my limit.
Not that I was getting tired or sore from all the running and sparing and whatever else Marcus made me do in the last three mornings. No, I started to feel my energy level getting too low. Some heads started to turn when I passed, eyes following me, nostrils flaring.
And yeah, I was also getting annoyed that every training session brought me back to a time where it was Dimitri who taught me how to fight. How to defend myself. How to find the best opportunities to attack when threatened.
Marcus was right; I’d been complacent over the years, counting on my shifting powers more than actual technique and skills. But in my defense, the world had evolved and men got dumber over the centuries.
Good thing my body still remembered the whole year Dimitri had trained me relentlessly before I sold my soul, and the decades that followed.
Muscle memory was definitely a thing.
The knock on my door that morning made me want to die.
“Lola, are you up?” Marcus said through it. “Hurry up, I’m waiting for you downstairs.”
“Can I get a break?” I groaned, hugging my legs tighter against me, my arms feeling numb and limbs trembling from the lack of energy. “I-I don’t feel so good today.”
Marcus remained silent for so long I thought he’d already left, until he spoke again, his voice firm.
“Come downstairs, breakfast is ready.”
My shoulders slumped, defeated. Why did I have to become friends with the most stubborn person in this damned place?
I pushed myself out of bed and braided my hair to hide the tip of my ears. I didn’t know why I was still doing it…After all, I didn’t mind if Marcus found out. But the only people who knew about it here were Kai, Arc, and Dimitri. The more days passed, the dumber I felt about suddenly admitting it.Maybe I should have told everyone from the start.Saying it now was only going to make it awkward, right? No matter that my reasons still felt valid. The last thing I wanted was people to expect more from me.
Closing my door, I dragged my feet down the stairs to the kitchen where Marcus was waiting for me, his whole arm inside a cereal box.I see we switched from corn flakes to some chocolate thing.
“Can we train somewhere…less crowded?” I asked, letting my ass fall on the stool in front of my scrambled eggs. “I—”
“You’re going back to Arc’s house,” Marcus grumbled, munching on a handful of cereal. “During last night’s evening shift, three other guards made references to how biteable your ass was and how they wishedtheywere the ones sparring with you but without clothes on. My ears and mind will never recover from that mental image.”
His eyes were focused everywhere but on me, his voice strained.
“Oh…”Shit. “You—”
“Yeah.” He sighed as I started fumbling with the food on my plate. “I’d rather you go for a few days before these thoughts start crossingmymind. We’re not kicking you out,” he quickly added, looking at what appeared to be a particularly interesting glass of orange juice. “Once you…do what you need to do, you can come back here. Whether it’s outside with some random human, or—Carter.”
I knew it was for the best. Icouldbe reasonable. But it still stung. It was exactly why I never managed to keep friends for long. Things always got…complicated.
“Okay.”
I cursed the weak voice that whispered this word, as he finally looked up to stare at me, pity in his eyes.
“Lola…I’m—you know I’m…” He let out another long exhale, shaking his head. “You’re my friend. The last thing I want is for you to start feeling threatened around me. Aymeric would never forgive himself ifhewas to have inappropriate thoughts too.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“I—Fuck, I’m sorry. We’re still your safe place, you know that? That room upstairs will always be yours. Just—”
“It’s fine, Marcus.” I stood up, my stomach now too knotted to consider eating the breakfast that was probably lovingly prepared for me by Aymeric. “I get it.” And I did. It just didn’t stop all this from being painful. “I’ll go upstairs and pack my bag.”
“Come back, okay?” he said, standing up abruptly. “After you…you know. Just come back.”
I forced a smile and nodded.
Closing my bedroom door softly behind me to make sure I didn’t wake the girls, I looked at the small space. At the comforter I bought the day before thinking it was time to make my room homier. At the couple of sage candles that Ann dropped at the Archives for me after my mates went missing, even though our relationship still felt strained. She said the smell would comfort me in a way. I never even lit them, but I somehow felt the urge to take them every time I lounged in the living room. I never called her back to chat like we used to, even though I knew she probably had nothing to do with the damn chip embedded in the guard’s uniforms.
Yeah. Friendship wasn’t my strong suit.
