“Another Charlie Hunnam movie?” Ainsley laughs.
“Nope. Even better! Charlie’s Angels!” She turns the movie on and grabs my throw blanket, spreading it out so it covers the three of us.
We settle in, my thoughts of Levi no longer feeling so overwhelming while I have them by my side. We relax and let the evening go by as we play movie after movie of sisterhood and girl power. When Rory starts softly snoring into my side, I pull the blanket closer around her.
“It’s like she chose you.” Ainsley smiles softly.
I look up at her, confused.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love you both, and we’re all friends here, but Rory came to Turtle Bay looking for her family. I don’t think that stopped when she found Blake.” She smiles down at Rory and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “She sees you as her sister.”
Ainsley’s smile is sweet and soft, but behind it, there’s a lingering sadness. Her eyes seem distant as she looks down at Rory, like she’s suddenly far away.
“Do you have family, Ainsley?” I’m not sure what compels me to ask the question, but whatever distance is here between Ainsley’seyes and the present, I don’t want her to feel like she’s traveling it on her own.
She breathes in deeply before shifting her gaze from Rory to me. “I did.”
Something shifts inside me at her words. As if the parts of myself I keep closed and locked up adjust to make room for something more. I think about Rory’s words from earlier in the night.Everybody needs somebody,and it suddenly becomes so clear how the three of us have each other. No matter what.
Like a movie reel playing in slow motion, I see every day over these past eight and a half months play clearly in my mind. The mornings that I was miserable were made brighter by one of Ainsley’s kind words of encouragement or one of Rory’s silly jokes. I see the way we have been there on the good and bad days, picking each other up effortlessly in every moment in between, and sitting with each other in the lows. It’s finally so clear to me that this is the sense of family, of sisterhood, that I’ve never had before and didn’t even realize I wanted.
“You still do,” I say, reaching out for her shoulder. “If we get to choose, then I choose you too.”
Ainsley’s surprised smile covers her face, but before she can respond, Rory stirs between us.
“Aww, bitch. You’re gonna make me cry again.” She wipes at tears threatening to fall at the edge of her eyes as we both laugh. “Oh, and I second that.” She turns to snuggle against Ainsley. “I choose you too. Both of you,” Rory says with a warm smile.
We settle in for one more late-night movie. Rory rallies and decides to make popcorn. I may have no idea what’s going to happen with Levi and me, or what’s going on in really any aspect of my life, but at least I know one thing for certain: I can count on having these two with me as I figure it out.
Love comes in all shapes and sizes. I’m finally starting to understand that. I don’t love who I was, and I may not fully love the person I’m becoming just yet, but they do, and that gives me hope to keep going. To keep trying to be the best version of myself. Love is healing, and with love all things are possible. Maybe if I keep that in mind, I can even be happy with this life I’m creating. A slight pain cuts through my chest as I glance over at Ellie’s dog bed on my living room floor. I’m not there yet, but hopefully someday soon. I will be.
“Here you are, Ms. Dot, your order of decaf frappuccino, strawberry shortcake, two pup cups, and that order of Ellie’s biscuits you asked for.”
I place Ms. Dot’s order on the table and love how her face lights up. After she’s given her dogs the pup cups and their biscuits, she takes a sip of her frappuccino.
“Mmm, that’s so delicious,” she says, licking her lips. “Don’t go tellin’ on me to Dr. Kill-Joy. He’s always going on about my blood sugar, but a woman my age can’t be bothered with such things. Life’s short, order the cold foam.”
A few of the surrounding customers who overhear her chuckle.
“You’re absolutely right, Ms. Dot.” I smile. “I may need to tell Callie to put that on one of our signs.”
Her eyes light up with excitement. “Really? You’d do that? I would love to leave a little piece of me in my favorite places before I leave this earth.”
“You plannin’ on goin’ somewhere, Ms. Dot?” Ainsley chimes in from behind the counter.
I look at Ms. Dot, who offers us a soft, knowing smile that the elderly have all somehow mastered. She’s been coming in herealmost every day for the past month since my birthday. Each day she orders something different, determined to try everything, and grabs her pup’s whipped cream in a cup and two of my “Ellie’s Biscuits.” Since I haven’t seen much of Ellie or of Levi in these past few weeks, a fact that sits heavily on my chest daily, I’m happy to be able to see the biscuits go somewhere.
“There isn’t a single day promised to any of us,” she says, then hands me payment for the biscuits separately from her check.
I’ve tried to tell her it’s not necessary, but she only threatens to pay me more, so I’ve stopped arguing. After giving the pups belly rubs, I head back to the counter and help Ainsley with some of the new inventory. I’m lost in thought, going through the motions while once again my mind drifts to Levi and Ellie. I’ve decided that I’m angry with him. It took me a bit of time to get here, but this is where I’ve landed. It takes a certain amount of planned determination to go through an entire month without once seeing your neighbor after months of sharing a whole routine. The sheer audacity of the man is so mind-blowing that it makes me wonder how I ever thought he was anything more than an asshole.
“Hey, Pinky,” Billy’s voice calls from the counter to Rory.
“Playboy,” she hums. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Just here to pick up lunch.”
Rory raises a brow before her eyes slide to mine. I stand up and stride to the counter. Rory bites her lip to conceal her smirk as Billy literally flinches like I’m about to hit him.
