I push the thought away, focusing on the woman in my arms. Who must be tired of having patience, because she wiggles until she can sink herself onto me. The groan that slips out of my mouth would probably embarrass me, but it’s impossible not to respond when Ava’s tight, wet heat engulfs me.
She begins to ride me as best she can with her leg still over my arm. It’s more of a grind, really, and I can tell it must be doing the job nicely for her by the sounds she’s making. I slip my fingers to where we are joined and begin rubbing gentle circles on her clit. “That’s right, baby,” I say, “use me to get yourself off. I want to make you feel so fucking good.”
“Oh god, Mark, right there. Don’t you dare fucking stop,” she demands.
I grin against the back of her shoulder. “So fucking bossy.”
I don’t change anything, though, keeping my attention on her clit to the exact same pressure, pattern, and speed. She grinds for another couple of moments, and I can feel when it hits her. Her walls clamp down around me, and her thighs start shaking.
I don’t give her a moment to come down. Instead, I grab her other leg and put it in the same position, thrusting up into her as hard as I can. I fuck her through the orgasm. I can’t tell if she continues coming or if she comes again, but either way, I set a brutal pace. She’s at my mercy the way I have her practically impaled on top of me, and I use every bit to my advantage until I can feel my own orgasm building.
“Knot. Knot. I need it. Gimme,” Ava sobs, almost incoherent.
Poor thing must be really lost in the haze if she’s begging for something I can’t give her. But God, I wish betas were able to take one. To lock myself within her so she’d be forced to sit and talk to me, unable to get away? That might actually be what heaven is like.
The mental image of knotting Ava is enough to push me over the edge, and I bury as much of myself as I can get inside her with my knot full and hard outside her tight hole.
We both pant, trying to catch our breath as the afterglow from the endorphins settles in.
“That was incredible,” I say gently. I’m feeling a little bold, so I press a light kiss to a very alluring freckle at the nape of her neck. We don’t usuallydothose kinds of touches.
She shivers, then slowly relaxes back into me. I ease her legs down, my mind drifting to the decision I made on my walk home from Brooklyn the other night. I need to be more assertive with Ava and stop letting her run from me. Either she lets me in, or she ends this for good. I wrap my arms around her waist, keeping my grip loose so she doesn’t feel trapped, but firm enough to make it clear that I want her close.
“What are you doing?” she asks. She doesn’t sound angry, which I take as a win, but there’s genuine confusion on her face.
“I want to hold you,” I say. “I don’t want you to fix your clothes and bolt out of this office. I want to talk. Hell, maybe even order some dinner and actually spend time together without having sex.” I feel tension coil inside her, but she hasn’t run yet. “And I think you want that too,” I add quietly.
“Mark—”
I shake my head, cutting her off. “No. You agreed we’d talk. Maybe cuddling half-naked is too much too soon for you, but you can’t run from this. Not this time.”
She climbs off my lap, chewing on her lip as if she’s weighing her next move. After a long breath, she seems to decide. “Fine, but I am fixing my clothes.”
“Fair enough,” I say. I pull my slacks back up and button them, but don’t bother with my shirt, draping an arm along the back of the couch as I watch her. Once she’s dressed again, she perches on the edge of the cushion, already rebuilding her shields.
“I agreed you could get dressed,” I say. “I didn’t agree to you sitting there like we’re about to negotiate a contract.” I reach for her and pull her back against me. “Relax, Ava, we have been sleeping together for nearly two months. I’m not a stranger,” I whisper.
“I can’t do this,” she says, voice small.
“What? Cuddle?”
“This,” she says more firmly, motioning with her hand between us. “I can’t do relationship stuff.”
“Can’t? Or won’t? Because that feels like an important distinction,” I say.
“Is it, though? At the end of the day, aren’t they one and the same?” She pulls back to look at me. There’s a sheen to her eyes, almost as if she’s holding back tears, and I can’t even begin to conceptualize her crying. I’m pretty sure I’d end up offering my very soul to get her to stop.
“Are you scared? Is that it?” I reach out and cup her cheek, and the way she closes her eyes and leans into it makes my chest ache.
“More than you’d believe. But it doesn’t change anything,” she says sadly.
“Baby, let me in. I’m not going to hurt you. Iloveyou.” The words slip out before I can stop them, and I curse myself as I feel her whole body go rigid.
Fuck. Completely overplayed my hand.
“I need to go,” she says quickly, pulling away from me and standing. “I just… I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“Ava,” I say, scrubbing a hand over my face and desperately trying to think of how to save this. “I can’t keep doing this. Please, stay and talk to me. I don’t expect you to say it back or anything. I didn’t even mean to say it. But don’t run.”
