I thought Colorado would heal me, being in fucking nature, but all I felt was rage. Hot, cold rage.
I hated this. Hated the smiling and the fake warmth, hated the sound of my half-brother’s voice and the way Sabrina chattered like every day was made of spun sugar. Hated most of all the fact that she was here.
Her.
Amelia fucking Langston.
She looked older. It’d been years, and I mean years, since I’d seen her up close. Her hair was darker, but her skin looked even more like it would shatter if you pressed too hard.
I shoved my hands deep in my pockets, clenching and unclenching my fists, and let Shane give the tour.
The “wilderness retreat” was just a cluster of cabins, a main lodge building, a few activity areas and a bunch of hiking trails curling off into the trees like veins.
Sabrina did her best to make it seem fun. “Look! Mountains everywhere, I can’t even believe it! Wait till you see the river.”
Shane grinned. “They do group dinners at the lodge, but if you want to crash early, there’s a kitchenette and a stocked fridge. Caiden, you want to check what they’ve got? I know you hate surprises.”
That last bit was supposed to be a joke. I didn’t laugh.
Instead I shrugged, rolled my shoulders, and made a beeline for the mini-fridge. Needed something to do with my hands, anyway.
When I turned around, Amelia was standing just inside the threshold, eyes dragging over every corner of the room, already measuring the exits. Her hands twisted at the strap of her bag, knuckles almost white. She caught me staring and her mouth tightened, cheeks flushing up pink.
For the briefest second, we were alone. Sabrina and Shane outside, loading up firewood or whatever.
I didn’t say a word. Maybe if I didn’t move, she wouldn’t provoke me. But she did, always did.
“Something on my face?” Her tone was flat, not even trying to be nice.
I laughed sharply. “Didn’t realize you still knew how to look people in the eye.”
A little color drained from her cheeks. Quick, the way she used to flinch when something crept too close. She lifted her chin anyway, getting brave. “Didn’t realize you still needed to intimidate everyone just to feel alive.”
We stood there, breathing each other’s poison.
“I don’t need you to be afraid of me,” I ground out, voice barely above a whisper. “That’s never what I fucking wanted.”
She hung there, suspended, like a thread about to snap. Her voice was softer, but harder, too. “Didn’t stop you, did it?”
No. It didn’t. I remembered the way I used to chase her down the hallways at school, remembered every time I’d spit venom just because my father told me to. Some nights the shame ate my guts.
But that wasn’t today. Today, I could feel the heat under my skin, the urge to push, to see if she’d still break. To see if I could break her.
Before I could say another word, the door banged open. Shane, arms loaded with logs, Sabrina trailing behind laughing at something he’d said.
My hands unclenched.
Fake smile, teeth bared. “We’re all set in here,” I said, loud enough for them to hear.
Sabrina’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yay! I thought you two would want some time to get acquainted.”
I nearly choked. Amelia made a noise like a cough, but she covered it with a polite smile.
“Yeah,” she managed.
No one knew. They didn’t suspect a thing. I could murder her in broad daylight and my brother would just smile and tell me to pass the ketchup.
Sabrina and Shane spouted endless optimism—“look at the view! let’s go down to the river! who’s up for s’mores?”—while me and Amelia trailed behind, cold shadows flickering between our boots.
