I took my place on the couch, putting just enough distance between us so it wouldn’t look obvious. But I could feel her. Feel the gravity of her, the ache in my bones.
Shane gave a whistle. “Movie time. Everyone ready?”
Sabrina snuggled in beside him, her laughter too bright. “Don’t fall asleep, boys.”
I could have laughed at that. But all my humor was gone.
Amelia sat next to me, her whole body tense. She wouldn’t let herself relax. Wouldn’t dare touch me.
I wanted her to.
But I didn’t move.
I just let the ache build, let it rip me open from the inside. I deserved it.
The credits started rolling. The lights went low.
I wondered if she would ever forgive me.
But more than that, I wondered what it would take for me to forgive myself.
The movie was boring. I couldn’t even tell you the plot, the names of the actors. Every cell in my body was tuned to how close she sat, the heat radiating off her legs, the slow, inevitable way her thigh drifted until it was pressed flush against mine. I pretended not to notice, but I noticed everything.
She didn’t move away. She never did, not when it mattered.
At first, I kept a safe inch between us. As the movie sagged on, she leaned in, maybe by accident, maybe on purpose. I tracked the hitch in her breath when our knees brushed. I tested it, subtle, shifting just enough that her weight shifted too. Electric. I was starving.
Her hair smelled like wind and water.
I wanted to drag her onto my lap and devour her. I wanted to pin her wrists and ask her if she hated me or if she just needed a reason to give in. But I sat stone-still, jaw grinding, fists jammed between my thighs so I didn’t reach for her.
On TV, a couple kissed in the rain. Laughter; wet faces and desperate hands. I barely saw them.
Shane started nodding off, slumped at the end of the couch, and Sabrina yawned theatrically. “We’re grabbing ice cream. You two want any?”
I shook my head. Amelia didn’t answer.
They were gone. Just like that. We were alone. The silence was total. My blood roared in my ears.
She spoke without looking at me. “Why do you do that?”
I blinked. “Do what?”
She laughed, but it wasn’t funny. “One second you act like I’m not here, the next?—”
A flash in her eyes. “The next you’re…right here. Like you’d kill anyone who even looked at me wrong. Then you pull away. Like you want topunish me for something. Why?”
I breathed through my teeth, scared my hands would shake. “You’re imagining things.”
She turned, biting hard on her bottom lip, searching my face. “You kissed me. That night. Then you disappeared.”
I closed my eyes. “You shoved me off.”
“I—” She caught herself, a tremor in her voice. “I didn’t want to. I was scared.”
I was quiet a long time. Then: “Scared of me?”
“No.” A rush of air, like she couldn’t believe I’d even ask. “Not of you. Of what I wanted. Of how it felt.”
