I should stop reading, but I couldn’t.
Sleep continued to elude me. I had writing deadlines to meet for the company I worked for, yet my work was slipping into disarray.Some days, I sat in the dark, my gaze tracing the shadows, fearing they would consume me. I felt myself sinking deeper into the abyss, helpless to pull back as memories of the cage engulfed me.
On those nights, I yearned for Caiden. I needed him to save me, to hold me, to protect me. But then, the memory of cradling my dead sister would crash over me, dragging the weight of rage back into my chest.
A deep shame washed over me as I recalled my kiss with Caiden, the very act that felt like a betrayal of Lillian’s memory.
I was terrible. He was terrible. We were both terrible.
A battlefield raged within my mind, and I felt utterly powerless against its fury.
Amidst my secluded turmoil, a knock reverberated through the air. My body tensed, realization dawning that someone was at the door.
Cautiously, I stood and made my way to the entrance. Peeking through the peephole, relief flooded me when I saw Sabrina’s familiar face.
I opened the door, welcoming her inside.
“Amelia! Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a few days,” she said, stepping through the threshold and enveloping me in a quick hug. I shrugged and sank onto the black couch.
“Not doing well.” I didn’t bother lying.
She settled beside me, her wide, sad gaze fixed on my face. I despised that expression, the one brimming with pity.
“I got worried when you said you weren’t coming by at night. Did something happen?”
“I just don’t want to be a burden, that’s all.” How could I explain that my reluctance stemmed from Caiden? He was Shane’s stepbrother; he deserved to occupy that space more than I did.
“Honey, you are not a burden. We enjoy having you around and knowing that you are safe.” Her voice was warm and genuine.
“Am I safe, though? I don’t feel safe. Not when I sleep, not when I’m awake. I still feel the terror that haunted me in the wilderness.”
“I’m sorry. I know healing will be a long process. Why don’t you share your feelings with Caiden? He went through it too; it could be beneficial for both of you to bond over it and find solacetogether.” Her suggestions were logical, and it would work if we had a normal relationship.
“No. There’s too much history with Caiden.” My voice dripped with bitterness.
She furrowed her brows, confusion clouding her features. “History? What do you mean? Being lost together? I know he’s been concerned about you. He asked about you the other day and wanted to know if you were okay.”
That revelation ignited my temper. “No! I’m not okay. He and I kissed. I kissed my childhood enemy. At this point, I’m not even sure what we are. We endured so much together out there, and it changed how we felt. But now that we’re back, it feels like we’ve reverted to where we began.”
Sabrina’s hand flew to her mouth in surprise. “You and Caiden knew each other? From years ago? Why didn’t you say anything? And when did you kiss?” Her shocked tone shifted to excitement as she asked her last question.
I let out a strangled groan, burying my face in my hands. “Yes. We practically hated each other. He bullied me, and I loathed him for it. All because my drug-addicted mother had an affair with his dad, which led to his mom abandoning them and leaving Caiden with his abusive, alcoholic father. Both our lives spiraled downward after that.”
I glanced up at her silent expression. “I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to ruin the trip.”
“And the kiss?” She inquired.
“It happened in the guest bedroom after I had a nightmare. I flipped out and told him to leave.”
“Oh, sweetie… I don’t claim to know every twisted knot of your past, and honestly, it doesn’t change how I feel about you. But I do know Caiden cares, he’s practically unraveling over something, and I have a hunch it ties back to that kiss you two shared. You owe it to both of you to talk it out.”
I felt the familiar flutter of panic in my chest, my inner child screaming to run, to hide.
But my grown-up self—the one who’d learned that pain doesn’t heal itself—nudged me forward. I couldn’t outrun this forever.
A cold shiver raced down my spine as I eased open the mentaldoor I’d bolted shut for so long. Light spilled through the crack, warm and golden, illuminating a future where laughter echoed in sunlit rooms, where Caiden’s hand fit perfectly in mine.
My chest tightened at the sight of it, how soft the promise looked. Did I deserve a future so gentle? Did I dare risk another heartbreak?
