“Doesn’t mean anything. I can’t allow myself to give in to this fucking yearning that I’ve carried beneath all the anger and hatred.”
Caiden sat in the shadows of the cage as he snapped at me, a sudden anger tearing through his voice.
“Yearning?” I whispered, fear coiling tightly in my chest as I awaited his answer.
“Yes. Yearning for you. My father made me hate you. But before that, I craved you.” Shock coursed through me as his words tumbled out, lathered with anger.
“Fuck!” Caiden snarled, smacking the barrier with his hand.
My body shrank back from the force of his blow against the glass. He held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut, the muscles in his arms flexing and tensing.
He was a broken shell of a man, grappling with demons that clawed at him like a ravenous beast.
“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. What could one say to that? Caiden, who had tormented me for years, had just confessed to an intimidating and forbidden truth.
“What the fuck are you sorry for? I’m the piece of shit here. I fucking hate myself, and I always will. All I wanted for all those years was for you to hate me too, so I could feel less guilty about my behavior.”
Caiden snarled and he smacked the barrier again, the violent force sent a fearful tremor through my body
“You felt guilty?” I had always viewed Caiden as a cruel monster, devoid of remorse, much like our kidnapper. Along the way, I had forgotten that he was human too, battling his own hell.
“I did at first. But over the years, bullying you became too easy, and I started to enjoy it. I buried that guilt and pity so deep that it evaporated.” He turned away, staring into the darkness, avoiding my gaze.
A spark of anger ignited within me, hot and sudden, as I recalled who I was speaking with. I couldn’t let his muddled words cloud my thoughts.
He was Caiden.
I hated him. He hated me.
The chilling confession that he had enjoyed making my life miserable snaked around me, its icy grip constricting my breath as my heart pounded in my ears.
It made me forget the softened feelings I had been having for him in this cage, and suddenly, he was the boy who bullied me again.
“Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you can bully me to the point of crushing my soul and make it up with some goddamn confessions that probably aren’t even true? How fucking pathetic.” The words surged out of me, and I reveled in the rush of adrenaline.
I needed that release.
“No, I know I can’t make it up. I just thought I’d be honest before we die.” Caiden spoke in such a hopeless way, and itterrified me.
“I thought you said we would make it out of here?”
He shook his head, anger radiating off his body like heat from a flame. “You were right about me. I’m a fucking coward. I’m tough and confident on the outside, but I’m no use to you. You need to save yourself, Amelia.”
“Fuck you, Caiden. Fuck you for making me feel small and weak, for giving me hope only to yank it away and abandon me completely. If you’re going to give up, then that’s reason enough for me to fight because we can’t both sit here and wither until that sadistic fucker kills us. This is not how I want to die.”
“Whatever,” Caiden murmured, refusing to meet my gaze. He had retreated further away, isolating himself until I was left alone with the darkness once again.
He was lost in his own madness, and I was close behind.
THE PRESENT
CAIDEN
The drip of water somewhere in the basement sounded like a countdown. The buzz of the bulb overhead sounded like a nerve being rubbed raw. Even my own breathing felt loud, like the walls were listening for it.
I hated that the wire let me see everything while trapping me anyway. See the concrete. See the stairs. See the dark mouth of the doorway above. See the stains I kept refusing to stare at long enough to understand.
The visibility was its own cruelty. A reminder that freedom was right there, just out of reach, like a fucking taunt.
